autobiography of mummy and daddy

// autobiography of mummy and daddy \\

 Hello friend, I have again come up with another new topic and my topic is to tell you about autobiography about Mummy and Daddy. You all know that there is very little to tell about your father and mother because no one in the world today No word can compare mother and father until 22:10, when they grow up from childhood they take care of themselves and take care of everything so that the children live well and all their suffering Award does not tell the kids they can have reasons to keep their hopes she loved that when I go back I will be When I am old, my children will take care of me, they are also expected and the child who gets spoiled on hope is a very good person because nowadays whenever I go and see that some people are very bad. It is not a good thing to beat your parents because they too raise them with no hope and do not have good values ​​to beat their parents it is not a good thing, You would like to know that all the people who have become rich, like the blessings of their parents, because whose blessings are with their parents, today people are successful because Mukesh Ambani brothers are very rich people. With the blessings of the father and love your parents so much.

|| Now let me tell you the thinking of both ||

First i tell you daddy's thinking

The only non-violence father is the one who wants in his dream that my child be richer than me and more hardworking person than me because he wants that the suffering I have endured today is tomorrow because he wants My children also have good messages from me and become a successful person anyway in my life that till date, full human being has value. 

Come on friend, I ask you a question that today you go to your house and ask your father how much work you do.Let me tell you in your confirmation that your father will tell you that I would work for 15 to 16 hours and some people also work for 24 hours, for whom what I have said today for my children may not be there. 

  

Let me tell you all about myself in the meantime, when I was at least 15 years old, my father used to stay away from me, I did not come to my house, my father lived in Bengaluru and worked very hard. It was a big stage, they were working there, for this, we used to motivate me that what I am doing today, you cannot do tomorrow and respect for good work and good man. 

As much as I can tell about Dad, today I am going to tell the name of a pot which is very famous today and his name is Vivek Bindra and Motivational speaker. He does a lot of work and motivates people. Because of his father being able to always motivate his father, Right now I am telling you about Vivek bindra ji, you do not need to tell much about him, you see him on YouTube, how are people and what are you doing and how he has become such a big person today by sacrificing. I have seen some children nowadays, that Papa people do very hard work by doing very different things but they do not understand that they are engaged in such work which they should not do because their mother and father are so much trouble Why are they doing it for them.

Once upon a time I was going to a place, there were uncles with water puris there, so they were making their own water puris and their child was moving around with someone else.The age at which they should rest, at that age, they are making water and their children are wandering around. Shame, those children because my fathers are working.When someone says to them that I know that their child has become so rich today and has started doing such a good job, then you will feel ashamed as to why my child has not been able to become such a person even in my upbringing. What is missing.But such a father should also act wisely, think about how to bring his children on the line, how to do what to bring children on the line.              Today me tell you one story ,

 A farmer lives with his four children, his four children are very lazy and for this reason the farmer grows up Remains worried , He always thinks that after my death how these people will live and how will they be able to express their life, they always do aarti work and they do not have any work, I have a great tension.Amitabh is obviously in tension, his mother will also be in tension, neither do they both come in so much tension that what to do so that our children work hard and make their lives well, Her mother comes up with a solution, then she runs and tells her father of four. And his father likes this solution, then he calls all four and tells that now that we are old then we are going to Haridwar, For 4 days, if anything is kept at home for eating and drinking, then whenever you feel like eating and drinking and more is needed, then I have buried the gold bundle in the field and if it is needed then Take out.After speaking all this he would have left.For the last 3 days, the whole grocery picture of the house kept on going and kept going and after that the whole grocery was finished.Then one of the four of them remembers what Father had said, whenever needed, I have kept a gold guard in the field to take it out.Then all fourGo away and when he reaches the field, he starts digging the farm, He puts all four fields but he finds no gold bundle. He keeps returning home disappointed and frustrated that his father's friends will be found.Then they told them where they were going, what happened? Then they told them that our father and mother have gone out, so Sara's food has finished at home and then my father also said that I put gold in the farm Is kept there but not there,That friend knows all this because his father keeps telling him that if the two of you meet, you have to tell them and give some good solution.Then his father's friend told him that now all four of you have given the field on your own, then the seeds in it will be very far from which the grains will be available and you will be able to eat them and selling them will also make money amazing.Then those four people did the same thing, they took home many pins and gave them to the field, which made the farm very good and then they kept something for food and then they were taking it for sale also.Then those people keep going that their mother and father come from Haridwar, Then he says that yes father, how have you come? 

The characteristic features of Indian culture have long been a search for ultimate verities and the concomitant disciple-guru¹ relationship.
My own path led me to a Christlike sage whose beautiful life was chiseled for the ages. He was one of the great masters who are India’s sole remaining wealth. Emerging in every generation, they have bulwarked their land against the fate of Babylon and Egypt.
I find my earliest memories covering the anachronistic features of a previous incarnation. Clear recollections came to me of a distant life, a yogi² amidst the Himalayan snows. These glimpses of the past, by some dimensionless link, also afforded me a glimpse of the future.
The helpless humiliations of infancy are not banished from my mind. I was resentfully conscious of not being able to walk or express myself freely. Prayerful surges arose within me as I realized my bodily impotence. My strong emotional life took silent form as words in many languages. Among the inward confusion of tongues, my ear gradually accustomed itself to the circumambient Bengali syllables of my people. The beguiling scope of an infant’s mind! adultly considered limited to toys and toes.
Psychological ferment and my unresponsive body brought me to many obstinate crying-spells. I recall the general family bewilderment at my distress. Happier memories, too, crowd in on me: my mother’s caresses, and my first attempts at lisping phrase and toddling step. These early triumphs, usually forgotten quickly, are yet a natural basis of self-confidence.
My far-reaching memories are not unique. Many yogis are known to have retained their self-consciousness without interruption by the dramatic transition to and from “life” and “death.” If man be solely a body, its loss indeed places the final period to identity. But if prophets down the millenniums spake with truth, man is essentially of incorporeal nature. The persistent core of human egoity is only temporarily allied with sense perception.
Although odd, clear memories of infancy are not extremely rare. During travels in numerous lands, I have listened to early recollections from the lips of veracious men and women.
I was born in the last decade of the nineteenth century, and passed my first eight years at Gorakhpur. This was my birthplace in the United Provinces of northeastern India. We were eight children: four boys and four girls. I, Mukunda Lal Ghosh³ , was the second son and the fourth child.
Father and Mother were Bengalis, of the Kshatriya caste.⁴ Both were blessed with saintly nature. Their mutual love, tranquil and dignified, never expressed itself frivolously. A perfect parental harmony was the calm center for the revolving tumult of eight young lives.
Father, Bhagabati Charan Ghosh, was kind, grave, at times stern. Loving him dearly, we children yet observed a certain reverential distance. An outstanding mathematician and logician, he was guided principally by his intellect. But Mother was a queen of hearts, and taught us only through love. After her death, Father displayed more of his inner tenderness. I noticed then that his gaze often metamorphosed into my mother’s.
In Mother’s presence we tasted our earliest bitter-sweet acquaintance with the scriptures. Tales from the Mahabharata and Ramayana ⁵ were resourcefully summoned to meet the exigencies of discipline. Instruction and chastisement went hand in hand.
A daily gesture of respect to Father was given by Mother’s dressing us carefully in the afternoons to welcome him home from the office. His position was similar to that of a vice-president, in the Bengal-Nagpur Railway, one of India’s large companies. His work involved traveling, and our family lived in several cities during my childhood.
Mother held an open hand toward the needy. Father was also kindly disposed, but his respect for law and order extended to the budget. One fortnight Mother spent, in feeding the poor, more than Father’s monthly income.
“All I ask, please, is to keep your charities within a reasonable limit.” Even a gentle rebuke from her husband was grievous to Mother. She ordered a hackney carriage, not hinting to the children at any disagreement.
“Good-by; I am going away to my mother’s home.” Ancient ultimatum!
We broke into astounded lamentations. Our maternal uncle arrived opportunely; he whispered to Father some sage counsel, garnered no doubt from the ages. After Father had made a few conciliatory remarks, Mother happily dismissed the cab. Thus ended the only trouble I ever noticed between my parents. But I recall a characteristic discussion.
“Please give me ten rupees for a hapless woman who has just arrived at the house.” Mother’s smile had its own persuasion.
“Why ten rupees? One is enough.” Father added a justification: “When my father and grandparents died suddenly, I had my first taste of poverty. My only breakfast, before walking miles to my school, was a small banana. Later, at the university, I was in such need that I applied to a wealthy judge for aid of one rupee per month. He declined, remarking that even a rupee is important.”
“How bitterly you recall the denial of that rupee!” Mother’s heart had an instant logic. “Do you want this woman also to remember painfully your refusal of ten rupees which she needs urgently?”
“You win!” With the immemorial gesture of vanquished husbands, he opened his wallet. “Here is a ten-rupee note. Give it to her with my good will.”
Father tended to first say “No” to any new proposal. His attitude toward the strange woman who so readily enlisted Mother’s sympathy was an example of his customary caution. Aversion to instant acceptancetypical of the French mind in the Westis really only honoring the principle of “due reflection.” I always found Father reasonable and evenly balanced in his judgments. If I could bolster up my numerous requests with one or two good arguments, he invariably put the coveted goal within my reach, whether it were a vacation trip or a new motorcycle.
Father was a strict disciplinarian to his children in their early years, but his attitude toward himself was truly Spartan. He never visited the theater, for instance, but sought his recreation in various spiritual practices and in reading the Bhagavad Gita.⁶ Shunning all luxuries, he would cling to one old pair of shoes until they were useless. His sons bought automobiles after they came into popular use, but Father was always content with the trolley car for his daily ride to the office. The accumulation of money for the sake of power was alien to his nature. Once, after organizing the Calcutta Urban Bank, he refused to benefit himself by holding any of its shares. He had simply wished to perform a civic duty in his spare time.
Several years after Father had retired on a pension, an English accountant arrived to examine the books of the Bengal-Nagpur Railway Company. The amazed investigator discovered that Father had never applied for overdue bonuses.
“He did the work of three men!” the accountant told the company. “He has rupees 125,000 (about $41,250.) owing to him as back compensation.” The officials presented Father with a check for this amount. He thought so little about it that he overlooked any mention to the family. Much later he was questioned by my youngest brother Bishnu, who noticed the large deposit on a bank statement.
“Why be elated by material profit?” Father replied. “The one who pursues a goal of evenmindedness is neither jubilant with gain nor depressed by loss. He knows that man arrives penniless in this world, and departs without a single rupee.”
Early in their married life, my parents became disciples of a great master, Lahiri Mahasaya of Benares. This contact strengthened Father’s naturally ascetical temperament. Mother made a remarkable admission to my eldest sister Roma: “Your father and myself live together as man and wife only once a year, for the purpose of having children.”
Father first met Lahiri Mahasaya through Abinash Babu,⁷ an employee in the Gorakhpur office of the Bengal-Nagpur Railway. Abinash instructed my young ears with engrossing tales of many Indian saints. He invariably concluded with a tribute to the superior glories of his own guru.
“Did you ever hear of the extraordinary circumstances under which your father became a disciple of Lahiri Mahasaya?”
It was on a lazy summer afternoon, as Abinash and I sat together in the compound of my home, that he put this intriguing question. I shook my head with a smile of anticipation.
“Years ago, before you were born, I asked my superior officeryour fatherto give me a week’s leave from my Gorakhpur duties in order to visit my guru in Benares. Your father ridiculed my plan.
“‘Are you going to become a religious fanatic?’ he inquired. ‘Concentrate on your office work if you want to forge ahead.’
“Sadly walking home along a woodland path that day, I met your father in a palanquin. He dismissed his servants and conveyance, and fell into step beside me. Seeking to console me, he pointed out the advantages of striving for worldly success. But I heard him listlessly. My heart was repeating: ‘Lahiri Mahasaya! I cannot live without seeing you!’
“Our path took us to the edge of a tranquil field, where the rays of the late afternoon sun were still crowning the tall ripple of the wild grass. We paused in admiration. There in the field, only a few yards from us, the form of my great guru suddenly appeared!⁸
“‘Bhagabati, you are too hard on your employee!’ His voice was resonant in our astounded ears. He vanished as mysteriously as he had come. On my knees I was exclaiming, ‘Lahiri Mahasaya! Lahiri Mahasaya!’ Your father was motionless with stupefaction for a few moments.
“‘Abinash, not only do I give you leave, but I give myself leave to start for Benares tomorrow. I must know this great Lahiri Mahasaya, who is able to materialize himself at will in order to intercede for you! I will take my wife and ask this master to initiate us in his spiritual path. Will you guide us to him?’
“‘Of course.’ Joy filled me at the miraculous answer to my prayer, and the quick, favorable turn of events.
“The next evening your parents and I entrained for Benares. We took a horse cart the following day, and then had to walk through narrow lanes to my guru’s secluded home. Entering his little parlor, we bowed before the master, enlocked in his habitual lotus posture. He blinked his piercing eyes and leveled them on your father.
“‘Bhagabati, you are too hard on your employee!’ His words were the same as those he had used two days before in the Gorakhpur field. He added, ‘I am glad that you have allowed Abinash to visit me, and that you and your wife have accompanied him.’
“To their joy, he initiated your parents in the spiritual practice of Kriya Yoga.⁹ Your father and I, as brother disciples, have been close friends since the memorable day of the vision. Lahiri Mahasaya took a definite interest in your own birth. Your life shall surely be linked with his own: the master’s blessing never fails.”
Lahiri Mahasaya left this world shortly after I had entered it. His picture, in an ornate frame, always graced our family altar in the various cities to which Father was transferred by his office. Many a morning and evening found Mother and me meditating before an improvised shrine, offering flowers dipped in fragrant sandalwood paste. With frankincense and myrrh as well as our united devotions, we honored the divinity which had found full expression in Lahiri Mahasaya.
His picture had a surpassing influence over my life. As I grew, the thought of the master grew with me. In meditation I would often see his photographic image emerge from its small frame and, taking a living form, sit before me. When I attempted to touch the feet of his luminous body, it would change and again become the picture. As childhood slipped into boyhood, I found Lahiri Mahasaya transformed in my mind from a little image, cribbed in a frame, to a living, enlightening presence. I frequently prayed to him in moments of trial or confusion, finding within me his solacing direction. At first I grieved because he was no longer physically living. As I began to discover his secret omnipresence, I lamented no more. He had often written to those of his disciples who were over-anxious to see him: “Why come to view my bones and flesh, when I am ever within range of your kutastha (spiritual sight)?”
I was blessed about the age of eight with a wonderful healing through the photograph of Lahiri Mahasaya. This experience gave intensification to my love. While at our family estate in Ichapur, Bengal, I was stricken with Asiatic cholera. My life was despaired of; the doctors could do nothing. At my bedside, Mother frantically motioned me to look at Lahiri Mahasaya’s picture on the wall above my head.
“Bow to him mentally!” She knew I was too feeble even to lift my hands in salutation. “If you really show your devotion and inwardly kneel before him, your life will be spared!”
I gazed at his photograph and saw there a blinding light, enveloping my body and the entire room. My nausea and other uncontrollable symptoms disappeared; I was well. At once I felt strong enough to bend over and touch Mother’s feet in appreciation of her immeasurable faith in her guru. Mother pressed her head repeatedly against the little picture.
“O Omnipresent Master, I thank thee that thy light hath healed my son!”
I realized that she too had witnessed the luminous blaze through which I had instantly recovered from a usually fatal disease.
One of my most precious possessions is that same photograph. Given to Father by Lahiri Mahasaya himself, it carries a holy vibration. The picture had a miraculous origin. I heard the story from Father’s brother disciple, Kali Kumar Roy.
It appears that the master had an aversion to being photographed. Over his protest, a group picture was once taken of him and a cluster of devotees, including Kali Kumar Roy. It was an amazed photographer who discovered that the plate which had clear images of all the disciples, revealed nothing more than a blank space in the center where he had reasonably expected to find the outlines of Lahiri Mahasaya. The phenomenon was widely discussed.
A certain student and expert photographer, Ganga Dhar Babu, boasted that the fugitive figure would not escape him. The next morning, as the guru sat in lotus posture on a wooden bench with a screen behind him, Ganga Dhar Babu arrived with his equipment. Taking every precaution for success, he greedily exposed twelve plates. On each one he soon found the imprint of the wooden bench and screen, but once again the master’s form was missing.
With tears and shattered pride, Ganga Dhar Babu sought out his guru. It was many hours before Lahiri Mahasaya broke his silence with a pregnant comment:
“I am Spirit. Can your camera reflect the omnipresent Invisible?”
“I see it cannot! But, Holy Sir, I lovingly desire a picture of the bodily temple where alone, to my narrow vision, that Spirit appears fully to dwell.”
“Come, then, tomorrow morning. I will pose for you.”
Again the photographer focused his camera. This time the sacred figure, not cloaked with mysterious imperceptibility, was sharp on the plate. The master never posed for another picture; at least, I have seen none.
The photograph is reproduced in this book. Lahiri Mahasaya’s fair features, of a universal cast, hardly suggest to what race he belonged. His intense joy of God-communion is slightly revealed in a somewhat enigmatic smile. His eyes, half open to denote a nominal direction on the outer world, are half closed also. Completely oblivious to the poor lures of the earth, he was fully awake at all times to the spiritual problems of seekers who approached for his bounty.
Shortly after my healing through the potency of the guru’s picture, I had an influential spiritual vision. Sitting on my bed one morning, I fell into a deep reverie.
“What is behind the darkness of closed eyes?” This probing thought came powerfully into my mind. An immense flash of light at once manifested to my inward gaze. Divine shapes of saints, sitting in meditation posture in mountain caves, formed like miniature cinema pictures on the large screen of radiance within my forehead.
“Who are you?” I spoke aloud.
“We are the Himalayan yogis.” The celestial response is difficult to describe; my heart was thrilled.
“Ah, I long to go to the Himalayas and become like you!” The vision vanished, but the silvery beams expanded in ever-widening circles to infinity.
“What is this wondrous glow?”
“I am Iswara.¹⁰ I am Light.” The voice was as murmuring clouds.
“I want to be one with Thee!”
Out of the slow dwindling of my divine ecstasy, I salvaged a permanent legacy of inspiration to seek God. “He is eternal, ever-new Joy!” This memory persisted long after the day of rapture.
Another early recollection is outstanding; and literally so, for I bear the scar to this day. My elder sister Uma and I were seated in the early morning under a neem tree in our Gorakhpur compound. She was helping me with a Bengali primer, what time I could spare my gaze from the near-by parrots eating ripe margosa fruit. Uma complained of a boil on her leg, and fetched a jar of ointment. I smeared a bit of the salve on my forearm.
“Why do you use medicine on a healthy arm?”
“Well, Sis, I feel I am going to have a boil tomorrow. I am testing your ointment on the spot where the boil will appear.”
“You little liar!”
“Sis, don’t call me a liar until you see what happens in the morning.” Indignation filled me.
Uma was unimpressed, and thrice repeated her taunt. An adamant resolution sounded in my voice as I made slow reply.
“By the power of will in me, I say that tomorrow I shall have a fairly large boil in this exact place on my arm; and your boil shall swell to twice its present size!”
Morning found me with a stalwart boil on the indicated spot; the dimensions of Uma’s boil had doubled. With a shriek, my sister rushed to Mother. “Mukunda has become a necromancer!” Gravely, Mother instructed me never to use the power of words for doing harm. I have always remembered her counsel, and followed it.
My boil was surgically treated. A noticeable scar, left by the doctor’s incision, is present today. On my right forearm is a constant reminder of the power in man’s sheer word.
Those simple and apparently harmless phrases to Uma, spoken with deep concentration, had possessed sufficient hidden force to explode like bombs and produce definite, though injurious, effects. I understood, later, that the explosive vibratory power in speech could be wisely directed to free one’s life from difficulties, and thus operate without scar or rebuke.¹¹
Our family moved to Lahore in the Punjab. There I acquired a picture of the Divine Mother in the form of the Goddess Kali.¹² It sanctified a small informal shrine on the balcony of our home. An unequivocal conviction came over me that fulfillment would crown any of my prayers uttered in that sacred spot. Standing there with Uma one day, I watched two kites flying over the roofs of the buildings on the opposite side of the very narrow lane.
“Why are you so quiet?” Uma pushed me playfully.
“I am just thinking how wonderful it is that Divine Mother gives me whatever I ask.”
“I suppose She would give you those two kites!” My sister laughed derisively.
“Why not?” I began silent prayers for their possession.
Matches are played in India with kites whose strings are covered with glue and ground glass. Each player attempts to sever the string of his opponent. A freed kite sails over the roofs; there is great fun in catching it. Inasmuch as Uma and I were on the balcony, it seemed impossible that any loosed kite could come into our hands; its string would naturally dangle over the roofs.
The players across the lane began their match. One string was cut; immediately the kite floated in my direction. It was stationary for a moment, through sudden abatement of breeze, which sufficed to firmly entangle the string with a cactus plant on top of the opposite house. A perfect loop was formed for my seizure. I handed the prize to Uma.
“It was just an extraordinary accident, and not an answer to your prayer. If the other kite comes to you, then I shall believe.” Sister’s dark eyes conveyed more amazement than her words.
I continued my prayers with a crescendo intensity. A forcible tug by the other player resulted in the abrupt loss of his kite. It headed toward me, dancing in the wind. My helpful assistant, the cactus plant, again secured the kite string in the necessary loop by which I could grasp it. I presented my second trophy to Uma.
“Indeed, Divine Mother listens to you! This is all too uncanny for me!” Sister bolted away like a frightened fawn.

1 Spiritual teacher; from Sanskrit root gur, to raise, to uplift.
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2 Spiritual teacher; from Sanskrit root gur, to raise, to uplift.
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3 My name was changed to Yogananda when I entered the ancient monastic Swami Order in 1914. My guru bestowed the religious title of Paramhansa on me in 1935 (see chapters 24 and 42).
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4 Traditionally, the second caste of warriors and rulers.
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5 These ancient epics are the hoard of India’s history, mythology, and philosophy. An “Everyman’s Library” volume, Ramayana and Mahabharata, is a condensation in English verse by Romesh Dutt (New York: E. P. Dutton).
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6 This noble Sanskrit poem, which occurs as part of the Mahabharata epic, is the Hindu Bible. The most poetical English translation is Edwin Arnold’s The Song Celestial (Philadelphia: David McKay, 75ø). One of the best translations with detailed commentary is Sri Aurobindo’s Message of the Gita (Jupiter Press, 16 Semudoss St., Madras, India, $3.50).
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7 Babu (Mister) is placed in Bengali names at the end.
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8 The phenomenal powers possessed by great masters are explained in chapter 30, “The Law of Miracles.”
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9 A yogic technique whereby the sensory tumult is stilled, permitting man to achieve an ever-increasing identity with cosmic consciousness. (See p. 243.)
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10 A Sanskrit name for God as Ruler of the universe; from the root is, to rule. There are 108 names for God in the Hindu scriptures, each one carrying a different shade of philosophical meaning.
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11 The infinite potencies of sound derive from the Creative Word, Aum, the cosmic vibratory power behind all atomic energies. Any word spoken with clear realization and deep concentration has a materializing value. Loud or silent repetition of inspiring words has been found effective in Coueism and similar systems of psychotherapy; the secret lies in the stepping-up of the mind’s vibratory rate. The poet Tennyson has left us, in his Memoirs, an account of his repetitious device for passing beyond the conscious mind into superconsciousness:
“A kind of waking trance-this for lack of a better word-I have frequently had, quite up from boyhood, when I have been all alone,” Tennyson wrote. “This has come upon me through repeating my own name to myself silently, till all at once, as it were out of the intensity of the consciousness of individuality, individuality itself seemed to dissolve and fade away into boundless being, and this not a confused state but the clearest, the surest of the surest, utterly beyond words-where death was an almost laughable impossibility-the loss of personality (if so it were) seeming no extinction, but the only true life.” He wrote further: “It is no nebulous ecstasy, but a state of transcendent wonder, associated with absolute clearness of mind.”
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12 Kali is a symbol of God in the aspect of eternal Mother Nature.
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My Mother’s Death and the Mystic Amulet

My mother’s greatest desire was the marriage of my elder brother. “Ah, when I behold the face of Ananta’s wife, I shall find heaven on this earth!” I frequently heard Mother express in these words her strong Indian sentiment for family continuity.
I was about eleven years old at the time of Ananta’s betrothal. Mother was in Calcutta, joyously supervising the wedding preparations. Father and I alone remained at our home in Bareilly in northern India, whence Father had been transferred after two years at Lahore.
I had previously witnessed the splendor of nuptial rites for my two elder sisters, Roma and Uma; but for Ananta, as the eldest son, plans were truly elaborate. Mother was welcoming numerous relatives, daily arriving in Calcutta from distant homes. She lodged them comfortably in a large, newly acquired house at 50 Amherst Street. Everything was in readinessthe banquet delicacies, the gay throne on which Brother was to be carried to the home of the bride-to-be, the rows of colorful lights, the mammoth cardboard elephants and camels, the English, Scottish and Indian orchestras, the professional entertainers, the priests for the ancient rituals.
Father and I, in gala spirits, were planning to join the family in time for the ceremony. Shortly before the great day, however, I had an ominous vision.
It was in Bareilly on a midnight. As I slept beside Father on the piazza of our bungalow, I was awakened by a peculiar flutter of the mosquito netting over the bed. The flimsy curtains parted and I saw the beloved form of my mother.
“Awaken your father!” Her voice was only a whisper. “Take the first available train, at four o’clock this morning. Rush to Calcutta if you would see me!” The wraithlike figure vanished.
“Father, Father! Mother is dying!” The terror in my tone aroused him instantly. I sobbed out the fatal tidings.
“Never mind that hallucination of yours.” Father gave his characteristic negation to a new situation. “Your mother is in excellent health. If we get any bad news, we shall leave tomorrow.”
“You shall never forgive yourself for not starting now!” Anguish caused me to add bitterly, “Nor shall I ever forgive you!”
The melancholy morning came with explicit words: “Mother dangerously ill; marriage postponed; come at once.”
Father and I left distractedly. One of my uncles met us en route at a transfer point. A train thundered toward us, looming with telescopic increase. From my inner tumult, an abrupt determination arose to hurl myself on the railroad tracks. Already bereft, I felt, of my mother, I could not endure a world suddenly barren to the bone. I loved Mother as my dearest friend on earth. Her solacing black eyes had been my surest refuge in the trifling tragedies of childhood.
“Does she yet live?” I stopped for one last question to my uncle.
“Of course she is alive!” He was not slow to interpret the desperation in my face. But I scarcely believed him.
When we reached our Calcutta home, it was only to confront the stunning mystery of death. I collapsed into an almost lifeless state. Years passed before any reconciliation entered my heart. Storming the very gates of heaven, my cries at last summoned the Divine Mother. Her words brought final healing to my suppurating wounds:
“It is I who have watched over thee, life after life, in the tenderness of many mothers! See in My gaze the two black eyes, the lost beautiful eyes, thou seekest!”

Father and I returned to Bareilly soon after the crematory rites for the well-beloved. Early every morning I made a pathetic memorial-pilgrimage to a large sheoli tree which shaded the smooth, green-gold lawn before our bungalow. In poetical moments, I thought that the white sheoli flowers were strewing themselves with a willing devotion over the grassy altar. Mingling tears with the dew, I often observed a strange other-worldly light emerging from the dawn. Intense pangs of longing for God assailed me. I felt powerfully drawn to the Himalayas.

One of my cousins, fresh from a period of travel in the holy hills, visited us in Bareilly. I listened eagerly to his tales about the high mountain abode of yogis and swamis.¹

“Let us run away to the Himalayas.” My suggestion one day to Dwarka Prasad, the young son of our landlord in Bareilly, fell on unsympathetic ears. He revealed my plan to my elder brother, who had just arrived to see Father. Instead of laughing lightly over this impractical scheme of a small boy, Ananta made it a definite point to ridicule me.
“Where is your orange robe? You can’t be a swami without that!”
But I was inexplicably thrilled by his words. They brought a clear picture of myself roaming about India as a monk. Perhaps they awakened memories of a past life; in any case, I began to see with what natural ease I would wear the garb of that anciently-founded monastic order.
Chatting one morning with Dwarka, I felt a love for God descending with avalanchic force. My companion was only partly attentive to the ensuing eloquence, but I was wholeheartedly listening to myself.

I fled that afternoon toward Naini Tal in the Himalayan foothills. Ananta gave determined chase; I was forced to return sadly to Bareilly. The only pilgrimage permitted me was the customary one at dawn to the sheoli tree. My heart wept for the lost Mothers, human and divine.

The rent left in the family fabric by Mother’s death was irreparable. Father never remarried during his nearly forty remaining years. Assuming the difficult role of Father-Mother to his little flock, he grew noticeably more tender, more approachable. With calmness and insight, he solved the various family problems. After office hours he retired like a hermit to the cell of his room, practicing Kriya Yoga in a sweet serenity. Long after Mother’s death, I attempted to engage an English nurse to attend to details that would make my parent’s life more comfortable. But Father shook his head.

“Service to me ended with your mother.” His eyes were remote with a lifelong devotion. “I will not accept ministrations from any other woman.”

Fourteen months after Mother’s passing, I learned that she had left me a momentous message. Ananta was present at her deathbed and had recorded her words. Although she had asked that the disclosure be made to me in one year, my brother delayed. He was soon to leave Bareilly for Calcutta, to marry the girl Mother had chosen for him.² One evening he summoned me to his side.

“Mukunda, I have been reluctant to give you strange tidings.” Ananta’s tone held a note of resignation. “My fear was to inflame your desire to leave home. But in any case you are bristling with divine ardor. When I captured you recently on your way to the Himalayas, I came to a definite resolve. I must not further postpone the fulfillment of my solemn promise.” My brother handed me a small box, and delivered Mother’s message.
“Let these words be my final blessing, my beloved son Mukunda!” Mother had said. “The hour is here when I must relate a number of phenomenal events following your birth. I first knew your destined path when you were but a babe in my arms. I carried you then to the home of my guru in Benares. Almost hidden behind a throng of disciples, I could barely see Lahiri Mahasaya as he sat in deep meditation.
“While I patted you, I was praying that the great guru take notice and bestow a blessing. As my silent devotional demand grew in intensity, he opened his eyes and beckoned me to approach. The others made a way for me; I bowed at the sacred feet. My master seated you on his lap, placing his hand on your forehead by way of spiritually baptizing you.
“‘Little mother, thy son will be a yogi. As a spiritual engine, he will carry many souls to God’s kingdom.’
“My heart leaped with joy to find my secret prayer granted by the omniscient guru. Shortly before your birth, he had told me you would follow his path.
“Later, my son, your vision of the Great Light was known to me and your sister Roma, as from the next room we observed you motionless on the bed. Your little face was illuminated; your voice rang with iron resolve as you spoke of going to the Himalayas in quest of the Divine.
“In these ways, dear son, I came to know that your road lies far from worldly ambitions. The most singular event in my life brought further confirmationan event which now impels my deathbed message.
“It was an interview with a sage in the Punjab. While our family was living in Lahore, one morning the servant came precipitantly into my room.

“‘Mistress, a strange sadhu³ is here. He insists that he “see the mother of Mukunda.”‘

“These simple words struck a profound chord within me; I went at once to greet the visitor. Bowing at his feet, I sensed that before me was a true man of God.

“‘Mother,’ he said, ‘the great masters wish you to know that your stay on earth will not be long. Your next illness shall prove to be your last.’⁴ There was a silence, during which I felt no alarm but only a vibration of great peace. Finally he addressed me again:

“‘You are to be the custodian of a certain silver amulet. I will not give it to you today; to demonstrate the truth in my words, the talisman shall materialize in your hands tomorrow as you meditate. On your deathbed, you must instruct your eldest son Ananta to keep the amulet for one year and then to hand it over to your second son. Mukunda will understand the meaning of the talisman from the great ones. He should receive it about the time he is ready to renounce all worldly hopes and start his vital search for God. When he has retained the amulet for some years, and when it has served its purpose, it shall vanish. Even if kept in the most secret spot, it shall return whence it came.’

“I proffered alms ⁵ to the saint, and bowed before him in great reverence. Not taking the offering, he departed with a blessing. The next evening, as I sat with folded hands in meditation, a silver amulet materialized between my palms, even as the sadhu had promised. It made itself known by a cold, smooth touch. I have jealously guarded it for more than two years, and now leave it in Ananta’s keeping. Do not grieve for me, as I shall have been ushered by my great guru into the arms of the Infinite. Farewell, my child; the Cosmic Mother will protect you.”

A blaze of illumination came over me with possession of the amulet; many dormant memories awakened. The talisman, round and anciently quaint, was covered with Sanskrit characters. I understood that it came from teachers of past lives, who were invisibly guiding my steps. A further significance there was, indeed; but one does not reveal fully the heart of an amulet.
How the talisman finally vanished amidst deeply unhappy circumstances of my life; and how its loss was a herald of my gain of a guru, cannot be told in this chapter.
But the small boy, thwarted in his attempts to reach the Himalayas, daily traveled far on the wings of his amulet.

1 Sanskrit root meaning of swami is “he who is one with his Self (Swa).” Applied to a member of the Indian order of monks, the title has the formal respect of “the reverend.”
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2 The Indian custom, whereby parents choose the life-partner for their child, has resisted the blunt assaults of time. The percentage is high of happy Indian marriages.
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3 An anchorite; one who pursues a sadhana or path of spiritual discipline.
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4 When I discovered by these words that Mother had possessed secret knowledge of a short life, I understood for the first time why she had been insistent on hastening the plans for Ananta’s marriage. Though she died before the wedding, her natural maternal wish had been to witness the rites.
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5 A customary gesture of respect to sadhus.
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The Saint With Two Bodies

CHAPTER 3

“Father, if I promise to return home without coercion, may I take a sight-seeing trip to Benares?”
My keen love of travel was seldom hindered by Father. He permitted me, even as a mere boy, to visit many cities and pilgrimage spots. Usually one or more of my friends accompanied me; we would travel comfortably on first-class passes provided by Father. His position as a railroad official was fully satisfactory to the nomads in the family.
Father promised to give my request due consideration. The next day he summoned me and held out a round-trip pass from Bareilly to Benares, a number of rupee notes, and two letters.
“I have a business matter to propose to a Benares friend, Kedar Nath Babu. Unfortunately I have lost his address. But I believe you will be able to get this letter to him through our common friend, Swami Pranabananda. The swami, my brother disciple, has attained an exalted spiritual stature. You will benefit by his company; this second note will serve as your introduction.”
Father’s eyes twinkled as he added, “Mind, no more flights from home!”
I set forth with the zest of my twelve years (though time has never dimmed my delight in new scenes and strange faces). Reaching Benares, I proceeded immediately to the swami’s residence. The front door was open; I made my way to a long, hall-like room on the second floor. A rather stout man, wearing only a loincloth, was seated in lotus posture on a slightly raised platform. His head and unwrinkled face were clean-shaven; a beatific smile played about his lips. To dispel my thought that I had intruded, he greeted me as an old friend.

“Baba anand (bliss to my dear one).” His welcome was given heartily in a childlike voice. I knelt and touched his feet.

“Are you Swami Pranabananda?”
He nodded. “Are you Bhagabati’s son?” His words were out before I had had time to get Father’s letter from my pocket. In astonishment, I handed him the note of introduction, which now seemed superfluous.
“Of course I will locate Kedar Nath Babu for you.” The saint again surprised me by his clairvoyance. He glanced at the letter, and made a few affectionate references to my parent.
“You know, I am enjoying two pensions. One is by the recommendation of your father, for whom I once worked in the railroad office. The other is by the recommendation of my Heavenly Father, for whom I have conscientiously finished my earthly duties in life.”
I found this remark very obscure. “What kind of pension, sir, do you receive from the Heavenly Father? Does He drop money in your lap?”
He laughed. “I mean a pension of fathomless peacea reward for many years of deep meditation. I never crave money now. My few material needs are amply provided for. Later you will understand the significance of a second pension.”
Abruptly terminating our conversation, the saint became gravely motionless. A sphinxlike air enveloped him. At first his eyes sparkled, as if observing something of interest, then grew dull. I felt abashed at his pauciloquy; he had not yet told me how I could meet Father’s friend. A trifle restlessly, I looked about me in the bare room, empty except for us two. My idle gaze took in his wooden sandals, lying under the platform seat.

“Little sir ¹, don’t get worried. The man you wish to see will be with you in half an hour.” The yogi was reading my minda feat not too difficult at the moment!

Again he fell into inscrutable silence. My watch informed me that thirty minutes had elapsed.
The swami aroused himself. “I think Kedar Nath Babu is nearing the door.”
I heard somebody coming up the stairs. An amazed incomprehension arose suddenly; my thoughts raced in confusion: “How is it possible that Father’s friend has been summoned to this place without the help of a messenger? The swami has spoken to no one but myself since my arrival!”
Abruptly I quitted the room and descended the steps. Halfway down I met a thin, fair-skinned man of medium height. He appeared to be in a hurry.
“Are you Kedar Nath Babu?” Excitement colored my voice.
“Yes. Are you not Bhagabati’s son who has been waiting here to meet me?” He smiled in friendly fashion.
“Sir, how do you happen to come here?” I felt baffled resentment over his inexplicable presence.
“Everything is mysterious today! Less than an hour ago I had just finished my bath in the Ganges when Swami Pranabananda approached me. I have no idea how he knew I was there at that time.
“‘Bhagabati’s son is waiting for you in my apartment,’ he said. ‘Will you come with me?’ I gladly agreed. As we proceeded hand in hand, the swami in his wooden sandals was strangely able to outpace me, though I wore these stout walking shoes.
“‘How long will it take you to reach my place?’ Pranabanandaji suddenly halted to ask me this question.
“‘About half an hour.’
“‘I have something else to do at present.’ He gave me an enigmatical glance. ‘I must leave you behind. You can join me in my house, where Bhagabati’s son and I will be awaiting you.’
“Before I could remonstrate, he dashed swiftly past me and disappeared in the crowd. I walked here as fast as possible.”
This explanation only increased my bewilderment. I inquired how long he had known the swami.

“We met a few times last year, but not recently. I was very glad to see him again today at the bathing ghat.“

“I cannot believe my ears! Am I losing my mind? Did you meet him in a vision, or did you actually see him, touch his hand, and hear the sound of his feet?”
“I don’t know what you’re driving at!” He flushed angrily. “I am not lying to you. Can’t you understand that only through the swami could I have known you were waiting at this place for me?”
“Why, that man, Swami Pranabananda, has not left my sight a moment since I first came about an hour ago.” I blurted out the whole story.
His eyes opened widely. “Are we living in this material age, or are we dreaming? I never expected to witness such a miracle in my life! I thought this swami was just an ordinary man, and now I find he can materialize an extra body and work through it!” Together we entered the saint’s room.

“Look, those are the very sandals he was wearing at the ghat,” Kedar Nath Babu whispered. “He was clad only in a loincloth, just as I see him now.”

As the visitor bowed before him, the saint turned to me with a quizzical smile.
“Why are you stupefied at all this? The subtle unity of the phenomenal world is not hidden from true yogis. I instantly see and converse with my disciples in distant Calcutta. They can similarly transcend at will every obstacle of gross matter.”

It was probably in an effort to stir spiritual ardor in my young breast that the swami had condescended to tell me of his powers of astral radio and television². But instead of enthusiasm, I experienced only an awe-stricken fear. Inasmuch as I was destined to undertake my divine search through one particular guruSri Yukteswar, whom I had not yet metI felt no inclination to accept Pranabananda as my teacher. I glanced at him doubtfully, wondering if it were he or his counterpart before me.

The master sought to banish my disquietude by bestowing a soul-awakening gaze, and by some inspiring words about his guru.
“Lahiri Mahasaya was the greatest yogi I ever knew. He was Divinity Itself in the form of flesh.”
If a disciple, I reflected, could materialize an extra fleshly form at will, what miracles indeed could be barred to his master?
“I will tell you how priceless is a guru’s help. I used to meditate with another disciple for eight hours every night. We had to work at the railroad office during the day. Finding difficulty in carrying on my clerical duties, I desired to devote my whole time to God. For eight years I persevered, meditating half the night. I had wonderful results; tremendous spiritual perceptions illumined my mind. But a little veil always remained between me and the Infinite. Even with super-human earnestness, I found the final irrevocable union to be denied me. One evening I paid a visit to Lahiri Mahasaya and pleaded for his divine intercession. My importunities continued during the entire night.
“‘Angelic Guru, my spiritual anguish is such that I can no longer bear my life without meeting the Great Beloved face to face!’
“‘What can I do? You must meditate more profoundly.’
“‘I am appealing to Thee, O God my Master! I see Thee materialized before me in a physical body; bless me that I may perceive Thee in Thine infinite form!’

“Lahiri Mahasaya extended his hand in a benign gesture. ‘You may go now and meditate. I have interceded for you with Brahma.’³ “Immeasurably uplifted, I returned to my home. In meditation that night, the burning Goal of my life was achieved. Now I ceaselessly enjoy the spiritual pension. Never from that day has the Blissful Creator remained hidden from my eyes behind any screen of delusion.”

Pranabananda’s face was suffused with divine light. The peace of another world entered my heart; all fear had fled. The saint made a further confidence.
“Some months later I returned to Lahiri Mahasaya and tried to thank him for his bestowal of the infinite gift. Then I mentioned another matter.
“‘Divine Guru, I can no longer work in the office. Please release me. Brahma keeps me continuously intoxicated.’
“‘Apply for a pension from your company.’
“‘What reason shall I give, so early in my service?’
“‘Say what you feel.’
“The next day I made my application. The doctor inquired the grounds for my premature request.

“‘At work, I find an overpowering sensation rising in my spine.⁴ It permeates my whole body, unfitting me for the performance of my duties.’

“Without further questioning the physician recommended me highly for a pension, which I soon received. I know the divine will of Lahiri Mahasaya worked through the doctor and the railroad officials, including your father. Automatically they obeyed the great guru’s spiritual direction, and freed me for a life of unbroken communion with the Beloved.” ⁵

After this extraordinary revelation, Swami Pranabananda retired into one of his long silences. As I was taking leave, touching his feet reverently, he gave me his blessing:

“Your life belongs to the path of renunciation and yoga. I shall see you again, with your father, later on.” The years brought fulfillment to both these predictions.⁶

Kedar Nath Babu walked by my side in the gathering darkness. I delivered Father’s letter, which my companion read under a street lamp.
“Your father suggests that I take a position in the Calcutta office of his railroad company. How pleasant to look forward to at least one of the pensions that Swami Pranabananda enjoys! But it is impossible; I cannot leave Benares. Alas, two bodies are not yet for me!”

1 Choto Mahasaya is the term by which a number of Indian saints addressed me. It translates “little sir.”
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2 In its own way, physical science is affirming the validity of laws discovered by yogis through mental science. For example, a demonstration that man has televisional powers was given on Nov. 26, 1934 at the Royal University of Rome. “Dr. Giuseppe Calligaris, professor of neuro-psychology, pressed certain points of a subject’s body and the subject responded with minute descriptions of other persons and objects on the opposite side of a wall. Dr. Calligaris told the other professors that if certain areas on the skin are agitated, the subject is given super-sensorial impressions enabling him to see objects that he could not otherwise perceive. To enable his subject to discern things on the other side of a wall, Professor Calligaris pressed on a spot to the right of the thorax for fifteen minutes. Dr. Calligaris said that if other spots of the body were agitated, the subjects could see objects at any distance, regardless of whether they had ever before seen those objects.”
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3 God in His aspect of Creator; from Sanskrit root brih, to expand. When Emerson’s poem Brahma appeared in the Atlantic Monthly in 1857, most the readers were bewildered. Emerson chuckled. “Tell them,” he said, “to say ‘Jehovah’ instead of ‘Brahma’ and they will not feel any perplexity.”
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4 In deep meditation, the first experience of Spirit is on the altar of the spine, and then in the brain. The torrential bliss is overwhelming, but the yogi learns to control its outward manifestations.
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5 After his retirement, Pranabananda wrote one of the most profound commentaries on the Bhagavad Gita, available in Bengali and Hindi.
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My Interrupted Flight Toward the Himalayas

CHAPTER 4

“Leave your classroom on some trifling pretext, and engage a hackney carriage. Stop in the lane where no one in my house can see you.”
These were my final instructions to Amar Mitter, a high school friend who planned to accompany me to the Himalayas. We had chosen the following day for our flight. Precautions were necessary, as Ananta exercised a vigilant eye. He was determined to foil the plans of escape which he suspected were uppermost in my mind. The amulet, like a spiritual yeast, was silently at work within me. Amidst the Himalayan snows, I hoped to find the master whose face often appeared to me in visions.
The family was living now in Calcutta, where Father had been permanently transferred. Following the patriarchal Indian custom, Ananta had brought his bride to live in our home, now at 4 Gurpar Road. There in a small attic room I engaged in daily meditations and prepared my mind for the divine search.

The memorable morning arrived with inauspicious rain. Hearing the wheels of Amar’s carriage in the road, I hastily tied together a blanket, a pair of sandals, Lahiri Mahasaya’s picture, a copy of the Bhagavad Gita, a string of prayer beads, and two loincloths. This bundle I threw from my third-story window. I ran down the steps and passed my uncle, buying fish at the door.

“What is the excitement?” His gaze roved suspiciously over my person.
I gave him a noncommittal smile and walked to the lane. Retrieving my bundle, I joined Amar with conspiratorial caution. We drove to Chadni Chowk, a merchandise center. For months we had been saving our tiffin money to buy English clothes. Knowing that my clever brother could easily play the part of a detective, we thought to outwit him by European garb.
On the way to the station, we stopped for my cousin, Jotin Ghosh, whom I called Jatinda. He was a new convert, longing for a guru in the Himalayas. He donned the new suit we had in readiness. Well-camouflaged, we hoped! A deep elation possessed our hearts.

“All we need now are canvas shoes.” I led my companions to a shop displaying rubber-soled footwear. “Articles of leather, gotten only through the slaughter of animals, must be absent on this holy trip.” I halted on the street to remove the leather cover from my Bhagavad Gita, and the leather straps from my English-made sola topee (helmet).

At the station we bought tickets to Burdwan, where we planned to transfer for Hardwar in the Himalayan foothills. As soon as the train, like ourselves, was in flight, I gave utterance to a few of my glorious anticipations.
“Just imagine!” I ejaculated. “We shall be initiated by the masters and experience the trance of cosmic consciousness. Our flesh will be charged with such magnetism that wild animals of the Himalayas will come tamely near us. Tigers will be no more than meek house cats awaiting our caresses!”
This remarkpicturing a prospect I considered entrancing, both metaphorically and literallybrought an enthusiastic smile from Amar. But Jatinda averted his gaze, directing it through the window at the scampering landscape.
“Let the money be divided in three portions.” Jatinda broke a long silence with this suggestion. “Each of us should buy his own ticket at Burdwan. Thus no one at the station will surmise that we are running away together.”
I unsuspectingly agreed. At dusk our train stopped at Burdwan. Jatinda entered the ticket office; Amar and I sat on the platform. We waited fifteen minutes, then made unavailing inquiries. Searching in all directions, we shouted Jatinda’s name with the urgency of fright. But he had faded into the dark unknown surrounding the little station.
I was completely unnerved, shocked to a peculiar numbness. That God would countenance this depressing episode! The romantic occasion of my first carefully-planned flight after Him was cruelly marred.
“Amar, we must return home.” I was weeping like a child. “Jatinda’s callous departure is an ill omen. This trip is doomed to failure.”
“Is this your love for the Lord? Can’t you stand the little test of a treacherous companion?”

Through Amar’s suggestion of a divine test, my heart steadied itself. We refreshed ourselves with famous Burdwan sweetmeats, sitabhog (food for the goddess) and motichur (nuggets of sweet pearl). In a few hours, we entrained for Hardwar, via Bareilly. Changing trains at Moghul Serai, we discussed a vital matter as we waited on the platform.

“Amar, we may soon be closely questioned by railroad officials. I am not underrating my brother’s ingenuity! No matter what the outcome, I will not speak untruth.”
“All I ask of you, Mukunda, is to keep still. Don’t laugh or grin while I am talking.”
At this moment, a European station agent accosted me. He waved a telegram whose import I immediately grasped.
“Are you running away from home in anger?”
“No!” I was glad his choice of words permitted me to make emphatic reply. Not anger but “divinest melancholy” was responsible, I knew, for my unconventional behavior.
The official then turned to Amar. The duel of wits that followed hardly permitted me to maintain the counseled stoic gravity.
“Where is the third boy?” The man injected a full ring of authority into his voice. “Come on; speak the truth!”
“Sir, I notice you are wearing eyeglasses. Can’t you see that we are only two?” Amar smiled impudently. “I am not a magician; I can’t conjure up a third companion.”
The official, noticeably disconcerted by this impertinence, sought a new field of attack.
“What is your name?”
“I am called Thomas. I am the son of an English mother and a converted Christian Indian father.”
“What is your friend’s name?”
“I call him Thompson.”
By this time my inward mirth had reached a zenith; I unceremoniously made for the train, whistling for departure. Amar followed with the official, who was credulous and obliging enough to put us into a European compartment. It evidently pained him to think of two half-English boys traveling in the section allotted to natives. After his polite exit, I lay back on the seat and laughed uncontrollably. My friend wore an expression of blithe satisfaction at having outwitted a veteran European official.
On the platform I had contrived to read the telegram. From my brother, it went thus: “Three Bengali boys in English clothes running away from home toward Hardwar via Moghul Serai. Please detain them until my arrival. Ample reward for your services.”
“Amar, I told you not to leave marked timetables in your home.” My glance was reproachful. “Brother must have found one there.”
My friend sheepishly acknowledged the thrust. We halted briefly in Bareilly, where Dwarka Prasad awaited us with a telegram from Ananta. My old friend tried valiantly to detain us; I convinced him that our flight had not been undertaken lightly. As on a previous occasion, Dwarka refused my invitation to set forth to the Himalayas.
While our train stood in a station that night, and I was half asleep, Amar was awakened by another questioning official. He, too, fell a victim to the hybrid charms of “Thomas” and “Thompson.” The train bore us triumphantly into a dawn arrival at Hardwar. The majestic mountains loomed invitingly in the distance. We dashed through the station and entered the freedom of city crowds. Our first act was to change into native costume, as Ananta had somehow penetrated our European disguise. A premonition of capture weighed on my mind.
Deeming it advisable to leave Hardwar at once, we bought tickets to proceed north to Rishikesh, a soil long hallowed by feet of many masters. I had already boarded the train, while Amar lagged on the platform. He was brought to an abrupt halt by a shout from a policeman. Our unwelcome guardian escorted us to a station bungalow and took charge of our money. He explained courteously that it was his duty to hold us until my elder brother arrived.
Learning that the truants’ destination had been the Himalayas, the officer related a strange story.

“I see you are crazy about saints! You will never meet a greater man of God than the one I saw only yesterday. My brother officer and I first encountered him five days ago. We were patrolling by the Ganges, on a sharp lookout for a certain murderer. Our instructions were to capture him, alive or dead. He was known to be masquerading as a sadhu in order to rob pilgrims. A short way before us, we spied a figure which resembled the description of the criminal. He ignored our command to stop; we ran to overpower him. Approaching his back, I wielded my ax with tremendous force; the man’s right arm was severed almost completely from his body.

“Without outcry or any glance at the ghastly wound, the stranger astonishingly continued his swift pace. As we jumped in front of him, he spoke quietly.
“‘I am not the murderer you are seeking.’
“I was deeply mortified to see I had injured the person of a divine-looking sage. Prostrating myself at his feet, I implored his pardon, and offered my turban-cloth to staunch the heavy spurts of blood.
“‘Son, that was just an understandable mistake on your part.’ The saint regarded me kindly. ‘Run along, and don’t reproach yourself. The Beloved Mother is taking care of me.’ He pushed his dangling arm into its stump and lo! it adhered; the blood inexplicably ceased to flow.
“‘Come to me under yonder tree in three days and you will find me fully healed. Thus you will feel no remorse.’

“Yesterday my brother officer and I went eagerly to the designated spot. The sadhu was there and allowed us to examine his arm. It bore no scar or trace of hurt!

“‘I am going via Rishikesh to the Himalayan solitudes.’ He blessed us as he departed quickly. I feel that my life has been uplifted through his sanctity.”

The officer concluded with a pious ejaculation; his experience had obviously moved him beyond his usual depths. With an impressive gesture, he handed me a printed clipping about the miracle. In the usual garbled manner of the sensational type of newspaper (not missing, alas! even in India), the reporter’s version was slightly exaggerated: it indicated that the sadhu had been almost decapitated!

Amar and I lamented that we had missed the great yogi who could forgive his persecutor in such a Christlike way. India, materially poor for the last two centuries, yet has an inexhaustible fund of divine wealth; spiritual “skyscrapers” may occasionally be encountered by the wayside, even by worldly men like this policeman.
We thanked the officer for relieving our tedium with his marvelous story. He was probably intimating that he was more fortunate than we: he had met an illumined saint without effort; our earnest search had ended, not at the feet of a master, but in a coarse police station!
So near the Himalayas and yet, in our captivity, so far, I told Amar I felt doubly impelled to seek freedom.
“Let us slip away when opportunity offers. We can go on foot to holy Rishikesh.” I smiled encouragingly.
But my companion had turned pessimist as soon as the stalwart prop of our money had been taken from us.
“If we started a trek over such dangerous jungle land, we should finish, not in the city of saints, but in the stomachs of tigers!”
Ananta and Amar’s brother arrived after three days. Amar greeted his relative with affectionate relief. I was unreconciled; Ananta got no more from me than a severe upbraiding.
“I understand how you feel.” My brother spoke soothingly. “All I ask of you is to accompany me to Benares to meet a certain saint, and go on to Calcutta to visit your grieving father for a few days. Then you can resume your search here for a master.”
Amar entered the conversation at this point to disclaim any intention of returning to Hardwar with me. He was enjoying the familial warmth. But I knew I would never abandon the quest for my guru.
Our party entrained for Benares. There I had a singular and instant response to my prayers.

A clever scheme had been prearranged by Ananta. Before seeing me at Hardwar, he had stopped in Benares to ask a certain scriptural authority to interview me later. Both the pundit and his son had promised to undertake my dissuasion from the path of a sannyasi.¹

Ananta took me to their home. The son, a young man of ebullient manner, greeted me in the courtyard. He engaged me in a lengthy philosophic discourse. Professing to have a clairvoyant knowledge of my future, he discountenanced my idea of being a monk.

“You will meet continual misfortune, and be unable to find God, if you insist on deserting your ordinary responsibilities! You cannot work out your past karma² without worldly experiences.”

Krishna’s immortal words rose to my lips in reply: “‘Even he with the worst of karma who ceaselessly meditates on Me quickly loses the effects of his past bad actions. Becoming a high-souled being, he soon attains perennial peace. Arjuna, know this for certain: the devotee who puts his trust in Me never perishes!'”³

But the forceful prognostications of the young man had slightly shaken my confidence. With all the fervor of my heart I prayed silently to God:
“Please solve my bewilderment and answer me, right here and now, if Thou dost desire me to lead the life of a renunciate or a worldly man!”

I noticed a sadhu of noble countenance standing just outside the compound of the pundit’s house. Evidently he had overheard the spirited conversation between the self-styled clairvoyant and myself, for the stranger called me to his side. I felt a tremendous power flowing from his calm eyes.

“Son, don’t listen to that ignoramus. In response to your prayer, the Lord tells me to assure you that your sole path in this life is that of the renunciate.”
With astonishment as well as gratitude, I smiled happily at this decisive message.
“Come away from that man!” The “ignoramus” was calling me from the courtyard. My saintly guide raised his hand in blessing and slowly departed.

“That sadhu is just as crazy as you are.” It was the hoary-headed pundit who made this charming observation. He and his son were gazing at me lugubriously. “I heard that he too has left his home in a vague search for God.”

I turned away. To Ananta I remarked that I would not engage in further discussion with our hosts. My brother agreed to an immediate departure; we soon entrained for Calcutta.
“Mr. Detective, how did you discover I had fled with two companions?” I vented my lively curiosity to Ananta during our homeward journey. He smiled mischievously.
“At your school, I found that Amar had left his classroom and had not returned. I went to his home the next morning and unearthed a marked timetable. Amar’s father was just leaving by carriage and was talking to the coachman.
“‘My son will not ride with me to his school this morning. He has disappeared!’ the father moaned.
“‘I heard from a brother coachman that your son and two others, dressed in European suits, boarded the train at Howrah Station,’ the man stated. ‘They made a present of their leather shoes to the cab driver.’
“Thus I had three cluesthe timetable, the trio of boys, and the English clothing.”
I was listening to Ananta’s disclosures with mingled mirth and vexation. Our generosity to the coachman had been slightly misplaced!
“Of course I rushed to send telegrams to station officials in all the cities which Amar had underlined in the timetable. He had checked Bareilly, so I wired your friend Dwarka there. After inquiries in our Calcutta neighborhood, I learned that cousin Jatinda had been absent one night but had arrived home the following morning in European garb. I sought him out and invited him to dinner. He accepted, quite disarmed by my friendly manner. On the way I led him unsuspectingly to a police station. He was surrounded by several officers whom I had previously selected for their ferocious appearance. Under their formidable gaze, Jatinda agreed to account for his mysterious conduct.
“‘I started for the Himalayas in a buoyant spiritual mood,’ he explained. ‘Inspiration filled me at the prospect of meeting the masters. But as soon as Mukunda said, “During our ecstasies in the Himalayan caves, tigers will be spellbound and sit around us like tame pussies,” my spirits froze; beads of perspiration formed on my brow. “What then?” I thought. “If the vicious nature of the tigers be not changed through the power of our spiritual trance, shall they treat us with the kindness of house cats?” In my mind’s eye, I already saw myself the compulsory inmate of some tiger’s stomachentering there not at once with the whole body, but by installments of its several parts!'”
My anger at Jatinda’s vanishment was evaporated in laughter. The hilarious sequel on the train was worth all the anguish he had caused me. I must confess to a slight feeling of satisfaction: Jatinda too had not escaped an encounter with the police!

“Ananta,⁴ you are a born sleuthhound!” My glance of amusement was not without some exasperation. “And I shall tell Jatinda I am glad he was prompted by no mood of treachery, as it appeared, but only by the prudent instinct of self-preservation!”

At home in Calcutta, Father touchingly requested me to curb my roving feet until, at least, the completion of my high school studies. In my absence, he had lovingly hatched a plot by arranging for a saintly pundit, Swami Kebalananda⁵, to come regularly to the house.

“The sage will be your Sanskrit tutor,” my parent announced confidently.

Father hoped to satisfy my religious yearnings by instructions from a learned philosopher. But the tables were subtly turned: my new teacher, far from offering intellectual aridities, fanned the embers of my God-aspiration. Unknown to Father, Swami Kebalananda was an exalted disciple of Lahiri Mahasaya. The peerless guru had possessed thousands of disciples, silently drawn to him by the irresistibility of his divine magnetism. I learned later that Lahiri Mahasaya had often characterized Kebalananda as rishi or illumined sage.

Luxuriant curls framed my tutor’s handsome face. His dark eyes were guileless, with the transparency of a child’s. All the movements of his slight body were marked by a restful deliberation. Ever gentle and loving, he was firmly established in the infinite consciousness. Many of our happy hours together were spent in deep Kriya meditation.

Kebalananda was a noted authority on the ancient shastras or sacred books: his erudition had earned him the title of “Shastri Mahasaya,” by which he was usually addressed. But my progress in Sanskrit scholarship was unnoteworthy. I sought every opportunity to forsake prosaic grammar and to talk of yoga and Lahiri Mahasaya. My tutor obliged me one day by telling me something of his own life with the master.

“Rarely fortunate, I was able to remain near Lahiri Mahasaya for ten years. His Benares home was my nightly goal of pilgrimage. The guru was always present in a small front parlor on the first floor. As he sat in lotus posture on a backless wooden seat, his disciples garlanded him in a semicircle. His eyes sparkled and danced with the joy of the Divine. They were ever half closed, peering through the inner telescopic orb into a sphere of eternal bliss. He seldom spoke at length. Occasionally his gaze would focus on a student in need of help; healing words poured then like an avalanche of light.
“An indescribable peace blossomed within me at the master’s glance. I was permeated with his fragrance, as though from a lotus of infinity. To be with him, even without exchanging a word for days, was experience which changed my entire being. If any invisible barrier rose in the path of my concentration, I would meditate at the guru’s feet. There the most tenuous states came easily within my grasp. Such perceptions eluded me in the presence of lesser teachers. The master was a living temple of God whose secret doors were open to all disciples through devotion.

“Lahiri Mahasaya was no bookish interpreter of the scriptures. Effortlessly he dipped into the ‘divine library.’ Foam of words and spray of thoughts gushed from the fountain of his omniscience. He had the wondrous clavis which unlocked the profound philosophical science embedded ages ago in the Vedas. ⁶ If asked to explain the different planes of consciousness mentioned in the ancient texts, he would smilingly assent.

“‘I will undergo those states, and presently tell you what I perceive.’ He was thus diametrically unlike the teachers who commit scripture to memory and then give forth unrealized abstractions.
“‘Please expound the holy stanzas as the meaning occurs to you.’ The taciturn guru often gave this instruction to a near-by disciple. ‘I will guide your thoughts, that the right interpretation be uttered.’ In this way many of Lahiri Mahasaya’s perceptions came to be recorded, with voluminous commentaries by various students.
“The master never counseled slavish belief. ‘Words are only shells,’ he said. ‘Win conviction of God’s presence through your own joyous contact in meditation.’

“No matter what the disciple’s problem, the guru advised Kriya Yoga for its solution.

“‘The yogic key will not lose its efficiency when I am no longer present in the body to guide you. This technique cannot be bound, filed, and forgotten, in the manner of theoretical inspirations. Continue ceaselessly on your path to liberation through Kriya, whose power lies in practice.’

“I myself consider Kriya the most effective device of salvation through self-effort ever to be evolved in man’s search for the Infinite.” Kebalananda concluded with this earnest testimony. “Through its use, the omnipotent God, hidden in all men, became visibly incarnated in the flesh of Lahiri Mahasaya and a number of his disciples.”

A Christlike miracle by Lahiri Mahasaya took place in Kebalananda’s presence. My saintly tutor recounted the story one day, his eyes remote from the Sanskrit texts before us.

“A blind disciple, Ramu, aroused my active pity. Should he have no light in his eyes, when he faithfully served our master, in whom the Divine was fully blazing? One morning I sought to speak to Ramu, but he sat for patient hours fanning the guru with a hand-made palm-leaf punkha. When the devotee finally left the room, I followed him.

“‘Ramu, how long have you been blind?’
“‘From my birth, sir! Never have my eyes been blessed with a glimpse of the sun.’
“‘Our omnipotent guru can help you. Please make a supplication.’
“The following day Ramu diffidently approached Lahiri Mahasaya. The disciple felt almost ashamed to ask that physical wealth be added to his spiritual superabundance.
“‘Master, the Illuminator of the cosmos is in you. I pray you to bring His light into my eyes, that I perceive the sun’s lesser glow.’
“‘Ramu, someone has connived to put me in a difficult position. I have no healing power.’
“‘Sir, the Infinite One within you can certainly heal.’
“‘That is indeed different, Ramu. God’s limit is nowhere! He who ignites the stars and the cells of flesh with mysterious life-effulgence can surely bring luster of vision into your eyes.’

“The master touched Ramu’s forehead at the point between the eyebrows.⁷

“‘Keep your mind concentrated there, and frequently chant the name of the prophet Rama⁸ for seven days. The splendor of the sun shall have a special dawn for you.’

“Lo! in one week it was so. For the first time, Ramu beheld the fair face of nature. The Omniscient One had unerringly directed his disciple to repeat the name of Rama, adored by him above all other saints. Ramu’s faith was the devotionally ploughed soil in which the guru’s powerful seed of permanent healing sprouted.” Kebalananda was silent for a moment, then paid a further tribute to his guru.

“It was evident in all miracles performed by Lahiri Mahasaya that he never allowed the ego-principle⁹ to consider itself a causative force. By perfection of resistless surrender, the master enabled the Prime Healing Power to flow freely through him.

“The numerous bodies which were spectacularly healed through Lahiri Mahasaya eventually had to feed the flames of cremation. But the silent spiritual awakenings he effected, the Christlike disciples he fashioned, are his imperishable miracles.”
I never became a Sanskrit scholar; Kebalananda taught me a diviner syntax.

1 Literally, “renunciate.” From Sanskrit verb roots, “to cast aside.”
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2 Effects of past actions, in this or a former life; from Sanskrit kri, “to do.”
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3 Bhagavad Gita, IX, 30-31. Krishna was the greatest prophet of India; Arjuna was his foremost disciple.
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4 I always addressed him as Ananta-da. Da is a respectful suffix which the eldest brother in an Indian family receives from junior brothers and sisters.
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5 At the time of our meeting, Kebalananda had not yet joined the Swami Order and was generally called “Shastri Mahasaya.” To avoid confusion with the name of Lahiri Mahasaya and of Master Mahasaya (chapter 9), I am referring to my Sanskrit tutor only by his later monastic name of Swami Kebalananda. His biography has been recently published in Bengali. Born in the Khulna district of Bengal in 1863, Kebalananda gave up his body in Benares at the age of sixty-eight. His family name was Ashutosh Chatterji.
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6 The ancient four Vedas comprise over 100 extant canonical books. Emerson paid the following tribute in his Journal to Vedic thought: “It is sublime as heat and night and a breathless ocean. It contains every religious sentiment, all the grand ethics which visit in turn each noble poetic mind. . . . It is of no use to put away the book; if I trust myself in the woods or in a boat upon the pond, Nature makes a Brahmin of me presently: eternal necessity, eternal compensation, unfathomable power, unbroken silence. . . . This is her creed. Peace, she saith to me, and purity and absolute abandonment-these panaceas expiate all sin and bring you to the beatitude of the Eight Gods.”
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7 The seat of the “single” or spiritual eye. At death the consciousness of man is usually drawn to this holy spot, accounting for the upraised eyes found in the dead.
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8 The central sacred figure of the Sanskrit epic, Ramayana.
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9 Ahankara, egoism; literally, “I do.” The root cause of dualism or illusion of maya, whereby the subject (ego) appears as object; the creatures imagine themselves to be creators.
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A “Perfume Saint” Displays His Wonders

CHAPTER 5

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”
I did not have this wisdom of Solomon to comfort me; I gazed searchingly about me, on any excursion from home, for the face of my destined guru. But my path did not cross his own until after the completion of my high school studies.
Two years elapsed between my flight with Amar toward the Himalayas, and the great day of Sri Yukteswar’s arrival into my life. During that interim I met a number of sagesthe “Perfume Saint,” the “Tiger Swami,” Nagendra Nath Bhaduri, Master Mahasaya, and the famous Bengali scientist, Jagadis Chandra Bose.
My encounter with the “Perfume Saint” had two preambles, one harmonious and the other humorous.
“God is simple. Everything else is complex. Do not seek absolute values in the relative world of nature.”

These philosophical finalities gently entered my ear as I stood silently before a temple image of Kali. Turning, I confronted a tall man whose garb, or lack of it, revealed him a wandering sadhu.

“You have indeed penetrated the bewilderment of my thoughts!” I smiled gratefully. “The confusion of benign and terrible aspects in nature, as symbolized by Kali¹, has puzzled wiser heads than mine!”

“Few there be who solve her mystery! Good and evil is the challenging riddle which life places sphinxlike before every intelligence. Attempting no solution, most men pay forfeit with their lives, penalty now even as in the days of Thebes. Here and there, a towering lonely figure never cries defeat. From the maya² of duality he plucks the cleaveless truth of unity.”

“You speak with conviction, sir.”
“I have long exercised an honest introspection, the exquisitely painful approach to wisdom. Self-scrutiny, relentless observance of one’s thoughts, is a stark and shattering experience. It pulverizes the stoutest ego. But true self-analysis mathematically operates to produce seers. The way of ‘self-expression,’ individual acknowledgments, results in egotists, sure of the right to their private interpretations of God and the universe.”
“Truth humbly retires, no doubt, before such arrogant originality.” I was enjoying the discussion.
“Man can understand no eternal verity until he has freed himself from pretensions. The human mind, bared to a centuried slime, is teeming with repulsive life of countless world-delusions. Struggles of the battlefields pale into insignificance here, when man first contends with inward enemies! No mortal foes these, to be overcome by harrowing array of might! Omnipresent, unresting, pursuing man even in sleep, subtly equipped with a miasmic weapon, these soldiers of ignorant lusts seek to slay us all. Thoughtless is the man who buries his ideals, surrendering to the common fate. Can he seem other than impotent, wooden, ignominious?”
“Respected Sir, have you no sympathy for the bewildered masses?”
The sage was silent for a moment, then answered obliquely.
“To love both the invisible God, Repository of All Virtues, and visible man, apparently possessed of none, is often baffling! But ingenuity is equal to the maze. Inner research soon exposes a unity in all human mindsthe stalwart kinship of selfish motive. In one sense at least, the brotherhood of man stands revealed. An aghast humility follows this leveling discovery. It ripens into compassion for one’s fellows, blind to the healing potencies of the soul awaiting exploration.”
“The saints of every age, sir, have felt like yourself for the sorrows of the world.”

“Only the shallow man loses responsiveness to the woes of others’ lives, as he sinks into narrow suffering of his own.” The sadhu’s austere face was noticeably softened. “The one who practices a scalpel self-dissection will know an expansion of universal pity. Release is given him from the deafening demands of his ego. The love of God flowers on such soil. The creature finally turns to his Creator, if for no other reason than to ask in anguish: ‘Why, Lord, why?’ By ignoble whips of pain, man is driven at last into the Infinite Presence, whose beauty alone should lure him.”

The sage and I were present in Calcutta’s Kalighat Temple, whither I had gone to view its famed magnificence. With a sweeping gesture, my chance companion dismissed the ornate dignity.
“Bricks and mortar sing us no audible tune; the heart opens only to the human chant of being.”
We strolled to the inviting sunshine at the entrance, where throngs of devotees were passing to and fro.

“You are young.” The sage surveyed me thoughtfully. “India too is young. The ancient rishis ³ laid down ineradicable patterns of spiritual living. Their hoary dictums suffice for this day and land. Not outmoded, not unsophisticated against the guiles of materialism, the disciplinary precepts mold India still. By millenniumsmore than embarrassed scholars care to compute!the skeptic Time has validated Vedic worth. Take it for your heritage.”

As I was reverently bidding farewell to the eloquent sadhu, he revealed a clairvoyant perception:

“After you leave here today, an unusual experience will come your way.”
I quitted the temple precincts and wandered along aimlessly. Turning a corner, I ran into an old acquaintanceone of those long-winded fellows whose conversational powers ignore time and embrace eternity.
“I will let you go in a very short while, if you will tell me all that has happened during the six years of our separation.”
“What a paradox! I must leave you now.”
But he held me by the hand, forcing out tidbits of information. He was like a ravenous wolf, I thought in amusement; the longer I spoke, the more hungrily he sniffed for news. Inwardly I petitioned the Goddess Kali to devise a graceful means of escape.
My companion left me abruptly. I sighed with relief and doubled my pace, dreading any relapse into the garrulous fever. Hearing rapid footsteps behind me, I quickened my speed. I dared not look back. But with a bound, the youth rejoined me, jovially clasping my shoulder.
“I forgot to tell you of Gandha Baba (Perfume Saint), who is gracing yonder house.” He pointed to a dwelling a few yards distant. “Do meet him; he is interesting. You may have an unusual experience. Good-by,” and he actually left me.

The similarly worded prediction of the sadhu at Kalighat Temple flashed to my mind. Definitely intrigued, I entered the house and was ushered into a commodious parlor. A crowd of people were sitting, Orient-wise, here and there on a thick orange-colored carpet. An awed whisper reached my ear:

“Behold Gandha Baba on the leopard skin. He can give the natural perfume of any flower to a scentless one, or revive a wilted blossom, or make a person’s skin exude delightful fragrance.”
I looked directly at the saint; his quick gaze rested on mine. He was plump and bearded, with dark skin and large, gleaming eyes.
“Son, I am glad to see you. Say what you want. Would you like some perfume?”
“What for?” I thought his remark rather childish.
“To experience the miraculous way of enjoying perfumes.”
“Harnessing God to make odors?”
“What of it? God makes perfume anyway.”
“Yes, but He fashions frail bottles of petals for fresh use and discard. Can you materialize flowers?”
“I materialize perfumes, little friend.”
“Then scent factories will go out of business.”
“I will permit them to keep their trade! My own purpose is to demonstrate the power of God.”
“Sir, is it necessary to prove God? Isn’t He performing miracles in everything, everywhere?”
“Yes, but we too should manifest some of His infinite creative variety.”
“How long did it take to master your art?”
“Twelve years.”
“For manufacturing scents by astral means! It seems, my honored saint, you have been wasting a dozen years for fragrances which you can obtain with a few rupees from a florist’s shop.”
“Perfumes fade with flowers.”
“Perfumes fade with death. Why should I desire that which pleases the body only?”
“Mr. Philosopher, you please my mind. Now, stretch forth your right hand.” He made a gesture of blessing.
I was a few feet away from Gandha Baba; no one else was near enough to contact my body. I extended my hand, which the yogi did not touch.
“What perfume do you want?”
“Rose.”
“Be it so.”
To my great surprise, the charming fragrance of rose was wafted strongly from the center of my palm. I smilingly took a large white scentless flower from a near-by vase.
“Can this odorless blossom be permeated with jasmine?”
“Be it so.”
A jasmine fragrance instantly shot from the petals. I thanked the wonder-worker and seated myself by one of his students. He informed me that Gandha Baba, whose proper name was Vishudhananda, had learned many astonishing yoga secrets from a master in Tibet. The Tibetan yogi, I was assured, had attained the age of over a thousand years.
“His disciple Gandha Baba does not always perform his perfume-feats in the simple verbal manner you have just witnessed.” The student spoke with obvious pride in his master. “His procedure differs widely, to accord with diversity in temperaments. He is marvelous! Many members of the Calcutta intelligentsia are among his followers.”
I inwardly resolved not to add myself to their number. A guru too literally “marvelous” was not to my liking. With polite thanks to Gandha Baba, I departed. Sauntering home, I reflected on the three varied encounters the day had brought forth.
My sister Uma met me as I entered our Gurpar Road door.
“You are getting quite stylish, using perfumes!”
Without a word, I motioned her to smell my hand.
“What an attractive rose fragrance! It is unusually strong!”
Thinking it was “strongly unusual,” I silently placed the astrally scented blossom under her nostrils.
“Oh, I love jasmine!” She seized the flower. A ludicrous bafflement passed over her face as she repeatedly sniffed the odor of jasmine from a type of flower she well knew to be scentless. Her reactions disarmed my suspicion that Gandha Baba had induced an auto-suggestive state whereby I alone could detect the fragrances.
Later I heard from a friend, Alakananda, that the “Perfume Saint” had a power which I wish were possessed by the starving millions of Asia and, today, of Europe as well.

“I was present with a hundred other guests at Gandha Baba’s home in Burdwan,” Alakananda told me. “It was a gala occasion. Because the yogi was reputed to have the power of extracting objects out of thin air, I laughingly requested him to materialize some out-of-season tangerines. Immediately the luchis⁴ which were present on all the banana-leaf plates became puffed up. Each of the bread-envelopes proved to contain a peeled tangerine. I bit into my own with some trepidation, but found it delicious.”

Years later I understood by inner realization how Gandha Baba accomplished his materializations. The method, alas! is beyond the reach of the world’s hungry hordes.
The different sensory stimuli to which man reactstactual, visual, gustatory, auditory, and olfactoryare produced by vibratory variations in electrons and protons. The vibrations in turn are regulated by “lifetrons,” subtle life forces or finer-than-atomic energies intelligently charged with the five distinctive sensory idea-substances.

Gandha Baba, tuning himself with the cosmic force by certain yogic practices, was able to guide the lifetrons to rearrange their vibratory structure and objectivize the desired result. His perfume, fruit and other miracles were actual materializations of mundane vibrations, and not inner sensations hypnotically produced.⁵

Performances of miracles such as shown by the “Perfume Saint” are spectacular but spiritually useless. Having little purpose beyond entertainment, they are digressions from a serious search for God.
Hypnotism has been used by physicians in minor operations as a sort of psychical chloroform for persons who might be endangered by an anesthetic. But a hypnotic state is harmful to those often subjected to it; a negative psychological effect ensues which in time deranges the brain cells. Hypnotism is trespass into the territory of another’s consciousness. Its temporary phenomena have nothing in common with the miracles performed by men of divine realization. Awake in God, true saints effect changes in this dream-world by means of a will harmoniously attuned to the Creative Cosmic Dreamer.

Ostentatious display of unusual powers are decried by masters. The Persian mystic, Abu Said, once laughed at certain fakirs who were proud of their miraculous powers over water, air, and space.

“A frog is also at home in the water!” Abu Said pointed out in gentle scorn. “The crow and the vulture easily fly in the air; the Devil is simultaneously present in the East and in the West! A true man is he who dwells in righteousness among his fellow men, who buys and sells, yet is never for a single instant forgetful of God!” On another occasion the great Persian teacher gave his views on the religious life thus: “To lay aside what you have in your head (selfish desires and ambitions); to freely bestow what you have in your hand; and never to flinch from the blows of adversity!”
Neither the impartial sage at Kalighat Temple nor the Tibetan-trained yogi had satisfied my yearning for a guru. My heart needed no tutor for its recognitions, and cried its own “Bravos!” the more resoundingly because unoften summoned from silence. When I finally met my master, he taught me by sublimity of example alone the measure of a true man.

1 Kali represents the eternal principle in nature. She is traditionally pictured as a four-armed woman, standing on the form of the God Shiva or the Infinite, because nature or the phenomenal world is rooted in the Noumenon. The four arms symbolize cardinal attributes, two beneficent, two destructive, indicating the essential duality of matter or creation.
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2 Cosmic illusion; literally, “the measurer.” Maya is the magical power in creation by which limitations and divisions are apparently present in the Immeasurable and Inseparable.
Emerson wrote the following poem, to which he gave the title of Maya:
Illusion works impenetrable,
Weaving webs innumerable,
Her gay pictures never fail,
Crowd each other, veil on veil,
Charmer who will be believed
By man who thirsts to be deceived.
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3 The rishis, literally “seers,” were the authors of the Vedas in an indeterminable antiquity.
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4 Flat, round Indian bread.
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5 Laymen scarcely realize the vast strides of twentieth-century science. Transmutation of metals and other alchemical dreams are seeing fulfillment every day in centers of scientific research over the world. The eminent French chemist, M. Georges Claude, performed “miracles” at Fontainebleau in 1928 before a scientific assemblage through his chemical knowledge of oxygen transformations. His “magician’s wand” was simple oxygen, bubbling in a tube on a table. The scientist “turned a handful of sand into precious stones, iron into a state resembling melted chocolate and, after depriving flowers of their tints, turned them into the consistency of glass.
“M. Claude explained how the sea could be turned by oxygen transformations into many millions of pounds of horsepower; how water which boils is not necessarily burning; how little mounds of sand, by a single whiff of the oxygen blowpipe, could be changed into sapphires, rubies, and topazes; and he predicted the time when it will be possible for men to walk on the bottom of the ocean minus the diver’s equipment. Finally the scientist amazed his onlookers by turning their faces black by taking the red out of the sun’s rays.”
This noted French scientist has produced liquid air by an expansion method in which he has been able to separate the various gases of the air, and has discovered various means of mechanical utilization of differences of temperature in sea water.
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Parent

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For other uses, see Parent (disambiguation).

A parent with her child.

A parent is a caregiver of the offspring in their own species. In humans, a parent is the caretaker of a child (where "child" refers to offspring, not necessarily age). A biological parent is a person whose gamete resulted in a child, a male through the sperm, and a female through the ovum. Biological parents are first-degree relatives and have 50% genetic meet. A female can also become a parent through surrogacy. Some parents may be adoptive parents, who nurture and raise an offspring, but are not biologically related to the child. Orphans without adoptive parents can be raised by their grandparents or other family members.
A parent can also be elaborated as an ancestor removed one generation. With recent medical advances, it is possible to have more than two biological parents.^[1][2][3] Examples of third biological parents include instances involving surrogacy or a third person who has provided DNA samples during an assisted reproductive procedure that has altered the recipients' genetic material.^[4]
The most common types of parents are mothers, fathers, step-parents, and grandparents. A mother is, "a woman in relation to a child or children to whom she has given birth."^[5] The extent to which it is socially acceptable for a parent to be involved in their offspring's life varies from culture to culture, however one that exhibits too little involvement is sometimes said to exhibit child neglect,^[6] while one that is too involved is sometimes said to be overprotective, cosseting, nosey, or intrusive.^[7]

TypesEdit

BiologicalEdit

An individual's biological parents are the persons from whom the individual inherits his or her genes. The term is generally only used if there is a need to distinguish an individual's parents from their biological parents, For example, an individual whose father has remarried may call the father's new wife their stepmother and continue to refer to their mother normally, though someone who has had little or no contact with their biological mother may address their foster parent as their mother, and their biological mother as such, or perhaps by her first name.,^{[citation needed]}

MotherEdit

Main article: Mother

A mother is a female who has a maternal connection with another individual, whether arising from conception, by giving birth to, or raising the individual in the role of a parent.^[8] More than one female may have such connections with an individual. Because of the complexity and differences of a mother's social, cultural, and religious definitions and roles, it is challenging to define a mother to suit a universally accepted definition. The utilization of a surrogate mother may result in explication of there being two biological mothers.^[9]

FatherEdit

Main article: Father

A father is a male parent of any type of offspring.^[10] It may be the person who shares in the raising of a child or who has provided the biological material, the sperm, which results in the birth of the child.

GrandparentEdit

Main article: Grandparent

Grandparents are the parents of a person's own parent, whether that be a father or a mother. Every sexually reproducing creature who is not a genetic chimera has a maximum of four genetic grandparents, eight genetic great-grandparents, sixteen genetic great-great-grandparents and so on. Rarely, such as in the case of sibling or half-sibling incest, these numbers are lower.

Paternity issuesEdit

Main article: DNA paternity testing

A paternity test is conducted to prove paternity, that is, whether a male is the biological father of another individual. This may be relevant in view of rights and duties of the father. Similarly, a maternity test can be carried out. This is less common, because at least during childbirth and pregnancy, except in the case of a pregnancy involving embryo transfer or egg donation, it is obvious who the mother is. However, it is used in a number of events such as legal battles where a person's maternity is challenged, where the mother is uncertain because she has not seen her child for an extended period of time, or where deceased persons need to be identified.
Although not constituting completely reliable evidence, several congenital traits such as attached earlobes, the widow's peak, or the cleft chin, may serve as tentative indicators of (non-) parenthood as they are readily observable and inherited via autosomal-dominant genes.
A more reliable way to ascertain parenthood is via DNA analysis (known as genetic fingerprinting of individuals, although older methods have included ABO blood group typing, analysis of various other proteins and enzymes, or using human leukocyte antigens. The current techniques for paternity testing are using polymerase chain reaction (PCR) and restriction fragment length polymorphism (RFLP). For the most part, however, genetic fingerprinting has all but taken over all the other forms of testing.

Roles and responsibilitiesEdit

GuardianshipEdit

Main article: Legal guardian

A legal guardian is a person who has the legal authority (and the corresponding duty) to care for the personal and property interests of another person, called a ward. Guardians are typically used in three situations: guardianship for an incapacitated senior (due to old age or infirmity), guardianship for a minor, and guardianship for developmentally disabled adults.
Most countries and states have laws that provide that the parents of a minor child are the legal guardians of that child, and that the parents can designate who shall become the child's legal guardian in the event of death, subject to the approval of the court. Some jurisdictions allow a parent of a child to exercise the authority of a legal guardian without a formal court appointment. In such circumstances the parent acting in that capacity is called the natural guardian of that parent's child.

ParentingEdit

Main article: Parenting

Parenting or child rearing is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, financial, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers to the aspects of raising a child aside from the biological relationship.^[11]

Gender and gender mixEdit

A child has at least one biological father and at least one biological mother, but not every family is a traditional nuclear family. There are many variants, such as adoption, shared parenting, stepfamilies, and LGBT parenting, over which there has been controversy.
The social science literature rejects the notion that there is an optimal gender mix of parents or that children and adolescents with same-sex parents suffer any developmental disadvantages compared with those with two opposite-sex parents.^[12][13] The professionals and the major associations now agree there is a well-established and accepted consensus in the field that there is no optimal gender combination of parents.^[14] The family studies literature indicates that it is family processes (such as the quality of parenting and relationships within the family) that contribute to determining children's well-being and "outcomes," rather than family structures, per se, such as the number, gender, sexuality and co-habitation status of parents.^[13]

GeneticsEdit

Parent–offspring conflictEdit

Main article: Parent–offspring conflict

An offspring who hates their father is called a misopater, one that hates their mother is a misomater, while a parent that hates their offspring is a misopedist.^[15][16] Parent–offspring conflict describes the evolutionary conflict arising from differences in optimal fitness of parents and their offspring. While parents tend to maximize the number of offspring, the offspring can increase their fitness by getting a greater share of parental investment often by competing with their siblings. The theory was proposed by Robert Trivers in 1974 and extends the more general selfish gene theory and has been used to explain many observed biological phenomena.^[17] For example, in some bird species, although parents often lay two eggs and attempt to raise two or more young, the strongest fledgling takes a greater share of the food brought by parents and will often kill the weaker sibling, an act known as siblicide.

EmpathyEdit

David Haig has argued that human fetal genes would be selected to draw more resources from the mother than it would be optimal for the mother to give, a hypothesis that has received empirical support. The placenta, for example, secretes allocrine hormones that decrease the sensitivity of the mother to insulin and thus make a larger supply of blood sugar available to the fetus. The mother responds by increasing the level of insulin in her bloodstream, the placenta has insulin receptors that stimulate the production of insulin-degrading enzymes which counteract this effect.^[18]

Having children and happinessEdit

In Europe, parents are generally happier than non-parents. In women, happiness increases after the first child, but having higher-order children is not associated with further increased well-being. Happiness seems to increase most in the year before and after the first childbirth.^[19]

See alsoEdit

• Adoption
• Bateman's principle
• Child abuse
• Cinderella effect
• Egg and sperm donation
• Foster care
• Infant
• Infanticide
• Narcissistic parent
• Non-paternity event
• Parental abuse by children
• Parental bullying of children
• Parental investment
• Parental narcissistic abuse
• Parents bullying teachers
• Paternal bond
• Paternity (law)
• Reciprocal socialization
• Stepparent
• Surrogate mother
• Teachers bullying parents

ReferencesEdit

1. ^ Gallagher, James (2013-06-28). "UK government backs three-person IVF". BBC News. Retrieved 30 June 2013.
2. ^ Nadine Taub; Beth Anne Wolfson; Carla M. Palumbo. The Law of Sex Discrimination. p. 374.
3. ^ Browne C. Lewis (2012). Papa's Baby: Paternity and Artificial Insemination. p. 136.
4. ^ Louise I. Gerdes (2009). Reproductive Technologies. p. 25.
5. ^ "mother definition". www.oxforddictionaries.com. Oxford Dictionaries.
6. ^ Marian S Harris (2014). Racial Disproportionality in Child Welfare. p. 2.
7. ^ Bernard Roberts (2005). Evidence in the Psychological Therapies: A Critical Guidance for Practitioners. p. 149.
8. ^ "Definition from". Allwords.com. 2007-09-14. Retrieved 2011-11-04.
9. ^ Bromham, David (1990). Philosophical Ethics in Reproductive Medicine. p. 57.
10. ^ "TheFreeDictionary". Retrieved 2014-10-07.
11. ^ Davies, Martin (2000). The Blackwell encyclopedia of social work. Wiley-Blackwell. p. 245. ISBN 978-0-631-21451-9.
12. ^ Lamb, Michael (2009). Affidavit – United States District Court for the District of Massachusetts^{[permanent dead link]}
13. ^ ^a b Short, Elizabeth; Riggs, Damien W.; Perlesz, Amaryll; Brown, Rhonda & Kane, Graeme. "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Parented Families – A Literature Review prepared for The Australian Psychological Society" (PDF). Archived from the original (PDF) on 2011-03-04. Retrieved 2011-11-04.
14. ^ "In The Supreme Court of Iowa No. 07–1499" (PDF). Archived from the original (PDF) on 2009-12-29. Retrieved 2011-11-04.
15. ^ Francis, Darryl. "Iatrologs and Iatronyms." Word Ways 4.2 (1971): 8.
16. ^ Davies, Jon. "Imagining intergenerationality: Representation and rhetoric in the pedophile movie." GLQ: A Journal of Lesbian and Gay Studies 13.2 (2007): 369-385.
17. ^ Trivers, R.L. (1974). "Parent–offspring conflict". Integrative and Comparative Biology. 14 (1): 249–264. doi:10.1093/icb/14.1.249. JSTOR 3881986.
18. ^ Haig, D. (1993). "Genetic conflicts in human pregnancy" (PDF). The Quarterly Review of Biology. 68 (4): 495–532. doi:10.1086/418300. JSTOR 3037249. PMID 8115596. Archived from the original (PDF) on 2013-07-19.
19. ^ Nicoletta Balbo; Francesco C. Billari; Melinda Mills (2013). "Fertility in Advanced Societies: A Review of Research". European Journal of Population. 29 (1): 1–38. doi:10.1007/s10680-012-9277-y. PMC 3576563. PMID 23440941.

External linksEdit

Wikimedia Commons has media related to Parents.

Look up parent in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.

• National Educational Network, Inc. (NENI) – free online resources for parent education, curriculum. They also have a parent blog with information about child care, after-school, trends in education, tutoring, college, grants, etc.
•  Herbermann, Charles, ed. (1913). "Parents" . Catholic Encyclopedia. New York: Robert Appleton Company. – A Roman Catholic view of the position of parents.

mother and father

             Some people say that you are a sum of all of your influences. For the most part, I agree with these people. I have had many influential people in my life. I believe my friends, people I have worked with, schoolmates and even television has helped mold me into who I am today, but I think the two most influential people in my life were my parents.
             My mother and my father are very different. From the way they grew up, to the way they are now, they have always been quite different. My father is made from the fibers of hard work and he is a tough as nails stubborn old guy. My mother is quite the opposite. She is gentle, caring, and a deep thinker.
             My father was a wild man growing up. I know a lot about his crazy youth because he never missed the chance to pull me aside and tell mea story that "you can't tell your mother I told you." I always loved
             My mother also had stories about her youth, but they didn't start in the same manner as my father's. Actually, her stories were pretty wild in their own way too. She would insist on telling me these stories when we were in a heated argument. My father always worked so much that he was never around during our fights. Even so, my mom always loved to slap me with the dreaded, "I'm telling your father when he gets home!" Then she would hit me with the stories of her youth.
             My father's stories showed how reckless my father had been growing up. He told me many stories about going to Florida. He said he would often pack up and go to Florida when he was about eighteen years old. He recalled a time when his friends were going and they asked him a day before if he could join them. He said he woke his father up at two o'clock in the morning and told him he was on his way to Florida. His father was mad! "You woke me up at two A.M!" he hollered, "how much money do you need?" "Nothing", my father objected. "Then don't get arrested" his father warned and rolled back over
             ...

Continue reading 

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Faculty Insight

Dante Spetter

Lecturer in Extension, Harvard University

As we celebrate Father's Day, Dante Spetter, instructor of Human Development, shares insights on how a father or father-figure plays into a child’s life.

WHAT ARE SOME DIFFERENT FATHERING TECHNIQUES?

Clinical and developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind has outlined three main parenting styles:

• Authoritarian parenting is low on warmth and high on control.
• Authoritative is love and limits, where it’s medium on control and high on warmth. Discussions can be had, but the parent remains in control.
• Permissive parenting is very high on warmth and low on control. People who use this style view it as the most child-centered.

HOW DOES A FATHER CONTRIBUTE TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF A CHILD?

Both parents are very important. Generally, mothers do more of the explicit nurturing, while fathers tend to be more involved in play, particularly physical play and “rough and tumble” play. However, fathers do much more hands-on caregiving now than they did a generation ago—changing diapers, getting up at night, taking children to the doctor, sharing drop-offs and pick-ups, and helping with homework.

Prior to the late 1970s, most research on fathers compared children with fathers versus children whose fathers had died or deserted. In the late 1970s, early childhood research began to focus on a father’s role and not just “father absence” as a variable for investigation. In her doctoral dissertation at Brandeis University, Sheila Brachfeld-Child, now senior lecturer in psychology at Wellesley College, asked mothers and fathers simply “to have fun with your baby.” Completed in early 1980s, it was her impression that for many of the fathers, it was their first and only solo outing with the infants. The fathers’ play style was very active, throwing the children in the air or rolling on the floor. The mothers’ play was based more in teaching activities and fine motor skills, like finger plays, singing, and sitting quietly.

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And when looking at more recent early childhood literature from Michael Lamb, professor in the department of psychology at the University of Cambridge, children turned to fathers when they wanted to play and turned to mothers when they were stressed or upset.

HOW DOES THE ROLE OF A FATHER FACTOR INTO THE LIVES OF THEIR CHILDREN ONCE THEY ARE GROWN?

In the second part of adolescence, teens tend to look to their peers as to who they should be at that time, and look to their parents as to who they will become.
When children become parents, they look to their parents as to what they should and should not do. For young girls in particular, their fathers can make a huge impact on their self-esteem and how they grow into women. There are also interviews and autobiographies of Hillary Clinton, Madeline Albright, and many prominent women scientists that emphasize fathers’ influence on girls.

WHAT’S THE IMPACT OF THE MOTHER-FATHER RELATIONSHIP ON CHILDREN?

The more positive the relationship is, the more children will see and understand what a working romantic and working collaborative relationship looks like. When parents work as a well-functioning team, children learn how to work things out. Of course, it is natural for couples to argue. The main thing is to ensure both parties model a respectful attitude during disagreements, so that their children learn how to resolve conflicts in a healthy manner.

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Some of the research suggests that “parenting behavior” is the link between parent-parent relationships and adolescent outcomes.
Parents who are distressed, depressed, or upset by their poor adult relationships bring fewer resources to the table for parenting. Their parenting behavior is less ideal, and this is what leads to poorer teen outcomes. For example, research by Arriaga ​and Foshee examining antecedents of teen dating violence has shown that teens whose parents engage in domestic violence are at risk for violent dating relationships.
On the other end of the spectrum, strong marital quality and spousal support generally have a positive effect on child development. In a Dutch study by Hakvoort, Bos, Van Balen, and Hermanns, mothers’ reports of their marital satisfaction and their reports of the father-child relationship were related to better psychosocial outcomes for the children.

HOW DOES A FATHER-SON RELATIONSHIP DIFFER FROM THE FATHER-DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIP?

There is a lot of variability in father-children relationships. Many factors play into how a father will raise his children, like the age of the father or family size. When it comes to parenting in general, there’s a lot more variability than predictability.
For example, fathers may be stricter with their daughters around adolescence. Fathers may also play a formative role in how a daughter will handle future romantic relationships (Arriaga and Foshee, 2004).
Around adolescence, sometimes sons like to assert they can be their own man, but eventually fathers and sons can develop a buddy relationship. The relationship between a father and child can really vary and there’s no set model that’s right.

WHAT ARE SOME WAYS CHILDREN CAN EXPRESS THEIR LOVE TO THEIR FATHERS?

It is just as important for men to hear and be shown affection from their children as it is for women.
It’s great when a child does something that says to the father, “Today is your day, and I love you all year long.” Any type of gift, note, or gesture that reflects the father’s interests and the child’s acknowledgement of their different interests is great. For example, I took my stepson to buy a gift for his father when he was much younger. He wanted to buy two action figures, so that he could include his dad in his play. Even though he was young, he was thinking about trying to include his dad in an activity he enjoyed.
Words are very important too. Some men back off from expressing their affection, especially to sons, and their sons then have a harder time expressing affection to their fathers directly. This is true whether it’s verbal or physical affection.
For modern teens, texts or e-mail can be helpful. Forwarding an article or a song may be less anxiety provoking than saying “I love you” out loud, but clearly says “I am thinking of you.” Because teens do this all the time, it doesn’t have to feel like a “big deal,” but fathers will love the connection. This is especially true when teens and fathers do not share a household, and can set the stage for parent-child connection, too.
Lastly, it’s important to recognize that many different people can be in the father role. Father’s Day is the perfect opportunity to remember the other important men in your life and say, “I love you.”

PERCEPTIONS OF CHILDHOOD RELATIONSHIPS WITH MOTHER AND FATHER: DAILY EMOTIONAL AND STRESSOR EXPERIENCES IN ADULTHOOD

Melanie H. Mallers, Susan T. Charles, [...], and David. M. Almeida

Additional article information

Abstract

Adults who report having had high quality relationships with their parents during childhood have better overall mental health and are at decreased risk for mental disorders compared to those who report low parental relationship quality. Researchers have predominantly focused on the relationship with the mother, oftentimes excluding the unique role that fathers may play in the long-term development of their offspring. The current study examined the unique associations of recalled childhood experiences of mother- and father-child relationship quality with daily emotional experiences and stress processes in adulthood. Men and women (N = 912, 25 – 74 years old) retrospectively reported the quality of their childhood relationships with their mother and father. Later, they reported their daily psychological distress and stressor exposure every night over eight consecutive evenings. Results indicate that mother-child relationship quality was related to lower levels of daily psychological distress. Both mother- and father-child relationship quality were related to stressor exposure, but only father-son relationship quality was related to lower levels of emotional reactivity to stressors during adulthood.

Keywords: mother-child, father-child, relationship quality, psychological distress, daily stressors, age cohort

The quality of parenting one receives during childhood has lasting effects on health and well-being (e.g., Shaw, Krause, Chatter, Connell & Ingersoll-Dayton, 2004). Parent-child relationship quality is often assessed by asking respondents about childhood experiences such as the level and quality of support, nurturance and affection they received from their parents. These viewpoints are strong predictors of psychological and physical well being throughout life (e.g., Antonucci, Akiyama, Takahashi, 2004; Repetti, Taylor, & Seeman, 2002; Roberts & Bengston, 1996; Russek & Schwartz, 1997; Seeman & Syme, 1987; Shumaker & Czajkowski, 1994; Taylor, Lerner, Sage, Lehman, & Seeman, 2004; Turner & Muller, 2004; Umberson, 1992; Wickrama, Lorenz, & Conger, 1997). Though the extent to which these perceptions vary across development and into adulthood is debated (Aquilino, 1997), research suggests that views of parent-child relationships remain relatively consistent from adolescence to adulthood (Rossi & Rossi, 1990). Furthermore, these perceptions predict adulthood physical health better than other known correlates such as current age, familial history of illness, and lifestyle behaviours (Medalie & Golbourt, 1976; Russek & Schwartz, 1996; Seeman & Syme, 1987). For the present study, we examine adults’ retrospective reports of the quality of their childhood relationships with their mother and father and link them with current emotional well-being (i.e. psychological distress), daily stressor exposure, and emotional reactivity to daily stressors.

Researchers have discussed the pathways leading from the receipt of poor parenting in childhood to worse mental health in later life. These models assert that children who receive chaotic, harsh or neglectful care from their parents develop poor emotion regulation strategies, which in turn leaves them more susceptible to emotional distress later in life (e.g., Repetti et al., 2002). Research findings are consistent with these models, indicating that retrospective ratings of low parental quality during childhood are related to higher levels of negative emotionality in adulthood, including anger, hostility, depression and anxiety (Lehman, Taylor, Kiefe, & Seeman, 2009; Turner & Muller, 2004). In addition, adults who report poorer relationship quality with their parents during childhood have both lower self-confidence and emotional well-being than their higher-scoring counterparts (e.g., Diehl, Elnick, Bourbeau, & Labouvie-Vief, 1998). The above studies underscore the importance of parental relationship quality in childhood on later emotional well-being.

Current findings, however, often are limited by samples that are small, all male, or consisting only of college students. In addition, studies often restrict their research to one-time assessments of emotional well-being. More recently, researchers have begun to focus on the importance of capturing dynamic emotional processes in daily life (e.g., Almeida, 2005). A growing number of studies examine the temporal covariation of daily stressors and psychological distress to capture individual differences in emotional reactivity to stressors (Larsen, Billings, & Cutler, 1996; Larsen & Kasimatis, 1990; Tennen, Suls, & Affleck, 1991). Furthermore, research has focused almost exclusively on the mother-child relationship (e.g., Biller, 1974; Levine, Murphy, & Wilson, 1993; Saracho & Spodek, 2008). When fathers are mentioned, their contribution to their children’s welfare is often limited to financial support, or the effects of inadequate or absent fathering (Hawkins & Dollahite, 1997; Marks & Palkovitz, 2004). The present study uses a national data set of men and women spanning five decades of adulthood, from ages 25 to 74 years old, to study the unique associations between emotional experience in adulthood and perceived quality of relationships with both the mother and father in childhood. Specifically, we examine mother- and father-child relationship quality with overall emotional experiences, including levels of daily distress and emotional reactivity to daily stressful events.

Socio-Historical Influences on Mother- and Father-Child Relationships

Parent-child interactions are personal and often private encounters, yet they are influenced by socio-historical influences. Two such influences are the socioeconomic environment of the household and the historical expectations and cultural mores about parenting (Coltrane, 2004; Doherty, Kouneski, & Erickson, 1998). Parents living in poorer socioeconomic (SES) conditions, for example, tend to be less supportive and nurturing than financially secure parents (House, Landis & Umberson, 1988; Shaw, Krause, Chatters, Connell, & Ingersoll-Dayton, 2003). In addition, historical differences in childrearing practices and gender roles also shape what constitutes “good” parenting in the United States, especially as it relates to culturally-determined role expectations of fathers (Coltrane, 2004; Morman & Floyd, 2002; Saracho & Spodek, 2008). From the mid-nineteenth century through the Great Depression, the father primarily fulfilled the role of “breadwinner” in which good fathers met their family obligation by earning the majority if not all of the family income (Lamb, 2004). Beginning in the 1930’s and 1940’s fathers continued to be breadwinners, but their role was extended to that of a sex-role model, especially for their sons. Good fathers also exemplified masculine traditional traits. By the beginning of the 1970’s, fathers were defined as good if they were the “new nurturant father” who actively participated in child care duties (Lamb, 2004; Pleck & Pleck, 1997). The current study examined retrospective reports of both mother-child and father-child relationship quality among adults who ranged from 25–74 years-old and were children across five decades of the 20th century in the United States.

Examining the Unique Roles of the Mother and the Father

Research on parenting focuses predominantly on the primary caregiver, typically the mother. Researchers, however, are increasingly interested in the unique contributions of each parent on a child’s short-term and long-term development. For example, mothers spend more time in routine caregiving activities with their children (Parke, 1996) and are most often the primary source of physical comfort and safety for the child (e.g., Baumrind, 1980; Blankenhorn, 1995; Dempsey, 2000; Lamb, 1997; Pleck, 1997). Fathers, in contrast, more often engage the child in physical and stimulating interaction during play (Parke & Tinsley, 1987). Research has shown that through these active play behaviors, including rough-housing, talking and recreational activities (Jacklin, DiPietro & Maccoby, 1984; Lamb, 1997) children have the opportunity to develop emotion regulation and problem-solving skills (e.g., Biller, 1993; Labrell, 1996). In addition, men more than women, often encourage children to take risks, while at the same time ensure their safety and provide an environment where children learn to navigate through unfamiliar situations and to stand up for themselves (Paquette, 2004). Thus, mothers may play a stronger role for shaping overall safety and emotional health and involved fathers may have stronger influence in shaping a child’s sense of industry and competence for handling and adapting to new challenges (e.g., Amato, 1986; Biller & Solomon, 1986; Clarke-Stewart, 1978; Radin, 1982), as well as managing emotions (Easterbrooks & Goldberg, 1990) and adapting to stressful situations (Biller, 1993; Mischel, Shoda, & Peake, 1988).

Parenting and gender of the child

The quality of the father-child relationship may be especially significant for emotional regulation processes for sons, as compared to daughters. When fathers play an active role in the lives of their children, they generally behave differently with their sons, and they tend to spend more time with sons than daughters (Lamb, 1987). Fathers also report being closer to their sons than their daughters (Starrels, 1994). There is little indication, however, that mothers treat or prefer sons over daughters (Aldous, Mulligan, & Bjarnason, 1998; Harris & Morgan, 1991; Lamb, Ketterlinus, & Fracasso, 1992; Pleck, 1997; Siegal, 1987).

Daily Stressors and Emotional Experiences

In the current study, we examined the relationships between mother- and father-child relationship quality during childhood in relation to daily emotional experiences during adulthood. Until now, researchers have linked these childhood relationships to one-time assessments of emotion-related outcomes in adulthood. No study has examined how these early childhood relationships are related to stressor exposure or emotional reactivity to daily stressors. Daily stressors are the routine challenges of day-to-day living, such as interpersonal arguments, work deadlines and traffic jams. Although relatively minor, they exert immediate negative effects on physical and psychological well-being on the day they occur (Almeida, 2005; Almeida, Wethington, & Kessler, 2002; Bolger, DeLongis, Kessler, & Schilling, 1989), and also accumulate over time to contribute to more serious emotional reactions (Almeida, 2005; Kanner, Coyne, Schaefer, & Lazarus, 1981; Lazarus & DeLongis, 1983; Lazarus & Folkman, 1984; Pearlin, Lieberman, Menaghan, & Mullan, 1981; Pearlin & Schooler, 1978). Stressor exposure is the likelihood that an individual will experience a daily stressor (Bolger & Zuckerman, 1995). Reactivity is the likelihood that an individual will react emotionally to daily stressors (Almeida, 2005; Bolger & Zuckerman, 1995). At the daily level, emotional reactivity refers to the change in daily distress that ensues after a person experiences a stressful event. Thus, reactivity is an indirect measure of emotion regulation, as people who are less upset by a stressful event will experience a smaller increase in distress than someone more disrupted by a stressful event (Almeida, 2005; Bolger & Zuckerman, 1995). Researchers posit that receiving poor parenting in childhood may serve as a vulnerability factor - resulting in poorer emotion regulation skills, which in turn leads to worse emotional outcomes (e.g., Lehman et al., 2009). In the present study we assessed whether retrospective reports of low quality mother-child and father-child relationship quality are related to higher levels of stressors exposure and greater stressor reactivity.

Neuroticism

A concern with using self-reported information is possible response bias. Researchers suggest that neuroticism captures a negative response bias whereby people report higher levels of negative emotions and more somatic complaints (e.g., Watson & Pennebaker, 1989). High levels of neuroticism have also been linked to more pronounced mood swings and to greater reactivity to stressors (Mroczek & Almeida, 2004; Suls, Green, & Hillis, 1998; Suls & Martin, 2005). To alleviate this concern, researchers often include neuroticism in their statistical models to control for potential negative response biases driving their results (e.g., Charles & Almeida, 2007). In the present study, a negative response bias would lead to more negative childhood memories, a greater reported number of daily stressors, and higher levels of psychological distress. Thus, we include neuroticism in our models with the attempt to reduce the risk that the relationship between retrospective reports of mother- and father-child relationship quality and daily emotional experiences during adulthood is a function of distorted or biased reporting.

The Present Study

The current study examined how retrospective accounts of mother- and father-child relationship quality during childhood are related to daily emotional experiences (e.g., psychological distress), stressor exposure, and emotional reactivity to stressful events. We hypothesized that more positive retrospective ratings of early mother- and father-child relationship quality are related to lower levels of daily psychological distress. In addition, we hypothesized that more positive ratings of early relationship quality are related to experiencing fewer daily stressors in adulthood. Finally, we predicted that more positive retrospective ratings of early relationship quality with mother and father are related to decreased emotional reactivity to daily stressors. We further predicted that this relationship will be stronger for fathers and sons.

In addition to the above hypotheses, we also questioned whether our findings would vary by age group. Given that our data include people spanning a wide age range who were children from the 1920s to the 1970s and evidence indicating that parenting practices may have varied across historical periods in the United States, we examine whether the hypotheses vary by respondent’ age cohort.

In all analyses, we controlled for several covariates. In addition to neuroticism, we also controlled for socioeconomic status (SES). Low SES in childhood has been associated with poorer parental quality, poorer health in adulthood and low SES in adulthood. For this reason, we included both childhood SES and adulthood SES in our models. Additionally, given our wide age range, we control for the possibility that individuals whose parents have died have different memories than those whose parents are alive; thus we thus also control for survival status of the parent (i.e., whether respondents’ mother and father are living or deceased) in our analyses.

Method

Participants and Procedure

Respondents participated in the National Study of Daily Experiences (NSDE), a daily diary study included in the National Survey of Midlife in the United States (MIDUS) (Brim, Ryff, & Kessler, 2004) performed under the auspices of the John D and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation Research Network on Successful Midlife Development (Orville Gilbert Brim, Director). The MIDUS survey was administered to a nationally representative sample of 7189 non-institutionalized adults ranging from 25 to74 years-old, recruited by telephone to participate in the study (for further information, please see Brim, Ryff, & Kessler, 2004).

Of the 1,242 original randomly selected MIDUS respondents for the NSDE, 1,031 (562 women, 469 men) chose to participate, for a response rate of 83%. Respondents completed short telephone interviews about their daily experiences in the past 24 hours on eight consecutive evenings. They completed an average of seven of the eight interviews, resulting in a total of 7221 daily interviews. Data collection spanned an entire year and consisted of 40 separate “flights” of interviews, with each flight representing the eight-day sequence of interviews from approximately 38 respondents. The initiation of interview flights was staggered across the day of the week to control for the possibly confounding between day of study and day of week.

Approximately half of the NSDE sample were female (54.5%) and over half of the sample had at least a high school degree or equivalent (62%). The average family income was between $50,000 and $55,000. The NSDE sample was predominately Caucasian (90.3%) with a small subsample of African Americans (5.9%), and 3.8% from other racial groups or who declined to state their ethnicity. Most reported being married (65.4%) and a large percentage reported having at least one child age 18 or under living in the household (37.8%). For the current study, only respondents who reported both maternal and paternal affection from their parent were included in the analyses (N = 912; men: n = 423; women: 489). This exclusion criterion was selected to examine the unique contribution of each parent for all people where information from both parents was available.

Measures

Mother-child and father-child relationship quality 

In the MIDUS questionnaire, respondents rated the quality of their relationships with both their mother and father during childhood. Participants first rated the overall relationship quality with their mother in response to the question, “How would you rate your relationship with your mother during the years when you were growing up?” on a Likert-type scale ranging from 1 (excellent) to 5 (poor). Respondents then answered the following questions: a) How much did she understand your problems or worries?; b) How much could you confide in her about things that were bothering you?; c) How much love and affection did she give you?; d) How much time and attention did she give when you needed it?; e) How much effort did she put into watching over you and making sure you had a good upbringing?; and f) How much did she teach you about life? using a Likert-type scale ranging from 1 to 4 corresponding to 1 (a lot), 2 (some), 3 (a little), and 4 (not at all). The identical questions were then asked about their father. To provide an equivalent measurement scale across all five of these questions, responses to the first question were multiplied by .75. All scores were reverse coded so that higher scores indicate higher quality, and mean scores were calculated for mother-child relationship quality (α = .91) and father-child relationship quality (α = .93). For additional studies using this measure, see Davey, Tucker, Fingerman, and Savla, (2009) and Rossi (2001).

Daily psychological distress 

Daily psychological distress was assessed by the Non-Specific Psychological Distress scale developed for the MIDUS survey (Kessler et al., 2002; Mroczek & Kolarz, 1998). This measure included self-reported assessments of how much during the past 24 hours the respondent reported feeling: (1) depressed, (2) restless or fidgety, (3) so restless that [the respondent] could not sit still, (4) nervous, (5) so nervous that nothing could calm [the respondent] down, (6) worthless, (7) so sad that nothing could cheer [the respondent] up, (8) tired out, (9) that everything was an effort, and (10) hopeless. Responses were based on a 5-point scale from 1 (none of the time) to 5 (all of the time). Daily psychological distress was created by computing the mean scores across the 10 items (α = .89). For additional studies using this measure, seeAlmeida et al. (2002).

Daily stressors 

Daily stressors were assessed through a semi-structured Daily Inventory of Stressful Events (DISE, Almeida et al., 2002). The inventory consisted of a series of “stem” questions asking whether six types of stressor events (arguments or disagreements, avoided arguments and tensions, home events, work events, events occurring to the respondent’s close other, and discrimination) occurred within the previous 24 hours along with a set of guidelines for probing affirmative responses. The aim of the interviewing technique was to acquire a short narrative of each event that was then used to rate various components of the events. For example, if respondents said that a work stressor had occurred, they were then asked follow-up questions such as “Could you tell me a little about the background to that?” or “What about this do you think most people would consider stressful?” All interviews were tape-recorded, then transcribed and coded for several characteristics, including type or classification. It should be noted that non-events, or responses triggered by sad memories or recollections of the past, were not coded. For each of the six stressor stem questions included in the present study, people received a “1” if a stressor was reported and a “0” if none was reported. The total number of stressors reported each day was averaged to capture individual differences in the average number of stressors (termed weekly stressor exposure) that people are exposed to across the course of the week. Daily Stressors was created by dummy coding study days into two categories, such that respondents were given a score of “1” if they provided an affirmative response to any of the stem questions and “0” if they did not. Two expert raters coded approximately 20% of all the stressors. Respondents reported on average experiencing three stressors across the eight days of study. In terms of daily stressors, respondents reported any stressors on 40% of the study days. The DISE has strong reliability and validity (Almeida et al., 2002) and has been used effectively in many previous studies (e.g., Grzywacz, Almeida, Neupert, & Ettner, 2004; Mallers, Almeida, & Neupert, 2005).

Neuroticism 

Neuroticism was assessed in the MIDUS questionnaire by a four item measure created for the MIDUS (Lachman & Weaver, 1997). Participants responded to the stem question ‘‘Please indicate how well each of the following describes you’’ for the four items ‘‘moody,’’ ‘‘worrying,’’ ‘‘nervous,’’ and ‘‘calm’’ (reversed) using a 0–3 response scale, where 0 meant not at all and 3 meant a lot. The mean was then taken for these items (leaving out those who had missing data for one or more items). Coefficient alpha was .79 in the current sample. This scale has been used in a number of published reports that have documented its construct validity (Mroczek & Kolarz, 1998; Prenda & Lachman, 2001; Staudinger, Fleeson, & Baltes, 1999).

Childhood and current socioeconomic status (SES) 

We used the highest education level of the father as an indicator of childhood SES (Almeida, Neupert, Banks, & Serido, 2005). Parental education is a well-defined gradient of socioeconomic disadvantage (Adler et al., 1994; Marmot, Ryff, Bumpass, Shipley, & Marks, 1997) and the foundation from which occupational and earning strata are created (Marks & Shinberg, 1998). When information about the father’s education was not available, we used the highest education of the mother. We included this measure because childhood socioeconomic status is a significant correlate of parenting quality (Shaw et al., 2004). People reported the highest level of education achieved by their father, followed by an identical question about the educational attainment of their mother on a 12-point ordinal scale, ranging from 1 (no school or some grade school) to 12 (doctoral or other professional degree). For current socioeconomic status, respondents reported their highest level of education achieved on a 12-point ordinal scale, ranging from 1 (no school or some grade school) to 12 (doctoral or other professional degree).

Mother and father survival status 

The MIDUS survey asked respondents if their father and mother were still alive (1 = yes; 0 = no). A dichotomous variable was created indicating the survival status of each parent.

Results

Descriptive results

Table 1 presents descriptive information and correlations among the study variables. Mother-child relationship quality and father-child relationship quality were significantly related to one other, but the zero-order correlation coefficient of .46 suggested unique components for each construct. A repeated measures general linear model compared mother-child quality to father-child relationship quality, and examined whether these ratings varied by gender and age group of the participants. To examine possible historical variations in parent-child relationships, we created 5 categorical age groups, broken into decades, reflecting people born between 1921 and 1970: (a) 25–34 years in age; (b) 35–44 years in age; (c) 45–54 years in age; (d) 55–64 years in age; and (e) 65–74 years in age. In all of the analyses, the oldest age group served as the referent group. Results indicate that mother-child relationship quality (M = 3.17, SE = 0.02) was rated significantly higher than father-child relationship quality (M = 2.81, SE = .03), F(1, 910) = 177.43, p < .001, η² = .17). An interaction between relationship type (mother vs. father) and gender was significant, F(1, 910) = 9.30, p < . 001, η² = .01). This interaction revealed that men reported higher ratings of mother-child quality than did women (men: M = 3.26, SE = .04); women: M = 3.07, SE = .04), but similar ratings for father-child relationship quality (men: M = 2.82, SE = .04, women: M = 2.79, SE = .04). In addition, a significant age group main effect, F (1, 910) = 4.29, p < .01, η² = .02, revealed that overall relationship quality was highest for the two oldest cohorts of adults, those aged 55–64 years-old (M = 3.08, SE = .04) and 65–74 years-old (M = 3.10, SE = .07), compared to people aged 25–34 years-old (M = 2.97, SE = .05), and 45 – 54 years-old (M = 2.91, SE = .04). The 35–44 year-old age/cohort group had significantly lower ratings (M = 2.87, SE = .04) compared to all other age groups with the exception of the 45–54 year-olds. As a result, we controlled for age group and also explored age group interaction with the hypotheses. Furthermore, based on prior research described above, we also controlled for childhood SES, current SES, levels of neuroticism, and survival status of both the mother and the father.

Table 1

Descriptive Statistics and Intercorrelations for Study Variables at the Between-Person Level

Multilevel analyses

We used multilevel modeling with the SAS (1997) Proc Mixed program to examine emotional reactivity to daily stressors. In this framework, individual change/variability is represented by a two-level hierarchical model (Hawkins, Guo, Hill, Battin-Pearson, & Abbott, 2001). At Level 1, each person’s variability is expressed as an individual regression equation with its own intercept and slope. These individual parameters become the outcome variables in a Level 2 model, where person-level characteristics can be included to explain individual differences. Multilevel modeling is frequently used to model intraindividual variability; that is, people’s variability around their own average. This technique was useful in the current study because we examined interindividual differences (e.g., mother-child and father child relationship quality) in intraindividual covariation (e.g., the within-person relationship between stressors and psychological distress).

Multilevel results

We examined whether sufficient variance existed both within-person (Level 1) and between-person (Level 2) to include predictors in the model. Fully unconditional models revealed the amount of variance differed significantly from 0, such that 54% of the variability in emotional distress was between people,τ₀₀ = 7.22, z = 19.42, p < .001, and 46% was within people,σ² = 6.23, z = 55.35, p < .001. Thus, we then proceeded to examine variables that accounted for this between- and within-subject variance in tests of the hypotheses (Nezlek, 2001; Raudenbush & Bryk, 2002).

Daily Psychological Distress and Mother- and Father-Child Relationship Quality 

We hypothesized that more positive retrospective ratings of early mother- and father-child relationship quality would be related to lower levels of daily psychological distress. In a multilevel model, psychological distress was the dependent variable and both mother and father-child relationship quality were entered as independent variables. The covariates included age group, neuroticism, childhood and adulthood SES, mother survival status, father survival status, and gender (see Model 1 of Table 2). Results showed that mother-child relationship quality was significantly related to psychological distress (γ012), indicating that higher levels of reported mother-child relationship quality were related to lower levels of daily psychological distress. For example, people who reported high levels of mother-child relationship quality (M + 1SD) reported 3% less psychological distress compared to those who reported low levels of mother-child relationship quality (M - 1SD). Across the covariates, higher levels of neuroticism (γ001), lower current SES (γ002), mother survival status (γ006), and younger age (γ008 and γ009) were significantly associated with higher levels of daily psychological distress. Although the zero-order correlation of father-child relationship quality and psychological distress was significant (in Table 1), this association was not significant in this model with the inclusion of the other variables. The model explained 47% of the between-person variance in psychological distress.

Table 2

Coefficients (and Standard Errors) of Multilevel Models of Daily Psychological Distress

We explored whether gender would interact with either mother- or father-child relationship quality, for example, whether the relationship between mother-child relationship quality and psychological distress would be stronger for women than men, and whether relationship between father-child relationship quality and psychological distress would be stronger for men than women. Although the interaction between gender and father-relationship quality showed a trend where higher levels of father-child relationship quality was related to lower levels of psychological distress among men, t(4815) = -1.89, p = .06, this trend was not significant. We also explored in an additional model the interactions between the five age categories and father- and mother-child relationship quality and whether these relationships were stronger for different age groups. No interactions with age and either parental relationship quality variable approached levels of significance (e.g., t values ranged from .13 to 1.56).

Stressor Exposure and Mother- and Father-Child Relationship Quality 

We hypothesized that more negative retrospective ratings of mother- and father-relationship quality were also related to greater exposure to daily stressors. In a regression analyses, we used the average number of stressor categories reported each day (maximum of 6 each day) across the eight days as the dependent variable. Mother- and father-child relationship quality were the independent variables, and age group, childhood and current SES, gender, neuroticism, and the survival statuses of the mother and the father were included as covariates. Results indicate that poorer relationship quality with both mother (β = -.08, p =.05) and father (β = -.12, p =.003) were associated with more stressors. People who reported low levels of mother-child relationship quality (M - 1SD) reported 3% more stressors compared to those who reported higher levels of mother-child relationship quality (M + 1SD), and those who reported lower levels of father-child relationship quality (M – 1SD) reported 4% more stressors compared to those who reported higher levels of father-child relationship quality (M + 1SD). In addition, higher childhood SES and current SES, younger age, and higher levels of neuroticism were significantly related to a greater numbers of stressors reported across the eight day study. The total model accounted for 12% of the variance in average stressor exposure.

Emotional Reactivity and Mother- and Father-Child Relationship Quality 

We hypothesized that mother- and father-relationships quality were each related to emotional reactivity to daily stressors. We examined this prediction in a single multilevel model where psychological distress was the dependent variable. In this model (see Model 2 of Table 2), mother- and father-relationship quality, the occurrence of a stressor that day, and the interactions between mother-child relationship quality and stressor occurrence, and between father-child relationship quality and stressor occurrence were included with the covariates (i.e., childhood and current SES, age category, gender, neuroticism, and both mother and father survival status). Total number of stressors also was included as a covariate in this model to ensure that stressor occurrence was uniquely capturing the effect of that stressor on the psychological distress experienced that day, and not capturing the effects of greater overall stressor exposure on psychological distress. The hypotheses regarding reactivity were tested by the interactions between stressor occurrence and mother-child relationship quality (γ11), and that of stressor occurrence and father-child relationship quality (γ12). Results revealed that higher reported father-child relationship quality in childhood was significantly associated with less reactivity to daily stressors (see Figure 1). The interaction with mother-child relationship quality was not significant. This model accounted for 12% of the within-person and 54% of the between-person variance in daily psychological distress. In a second model, we tested the hypothesis that father-son relationship quality would be related to stressor reactivity, such that men who reported higher relationship quality with their fathers would be less emotionally reactive to daily stressors than men who reported lower relationship quality (see Model 3 of Table 2). Results support our hypothesis, such that the buffering effect of higher levels of father-child relationship quality on reactivity to stressors was only significant among men (γ15); for women, father-child relationship quality was unrelated to stressor reactivity. This model accounted for 12% of the within-person and 55% of the between-person variance in daily psychological distress.

Figure 1

Father-child relationship quality differences in emotional reactivity to daily stressors.

We explored whether these effects were stronger for age group in a third model that included the three-way interaction of father-child relationship quality, stressor exposure, and age. Given the exploratory nature of these analyses, we set the significance criterion to p < .01. None of the interactions with the five age categories were significant.

Discussion

Most studies examining parenting received in childhood focus on the relationship with the mother (e.g., Bowlby, 1982). Growing evidence, however, suggests that fathers play a unique and important role in the health of their offspring (e.g., Lamb, 2004; Nord, Brimhall, & West, 1997; Tamis-LeMonda, Shannon, Cabrera, & Lamb, 2004). The current study examined the unique associations between retrospective reports of mother-child and father-child relationship quality during chilhdood and daily emotional experiences (psychological distress), stressor exposure, and reactivity to stressors during adulthood. Findings reveal that only mother-child relationship is significantly related to overall levels of emotional experience in analyses where both relationships are examined together. When examining associations with daily stressors and reports of parent-child relationship quality, relationship quality with both mother and father are each uniquely associated with stressor exposure. However, only father-child relationship quality is significantly related to emotional reactivity to stressors, and only among men.

Mother-Child Relationship Quality and Levels of Daily Psychological Distress

We hypothesized that more positive retrospective ratings of early mother- and father-child relationship quality would each be related to lower levels of daily psychological distress. Both relationship reports were independently related to lower levels of daily psychological distress; however, only mother-child relationship quality remained a unique predictor of psychological distress when both mother-child and father-child relationship quality were included in a model together. This finding was true for both men and women.

The importance of mother-child relationship quality for both men and women on daily levels of psychological distress is consistent with the attachment literature that states that mothers traditionally serve as the primary caregiver from whom the initial parent-child bond is established, one that provides physical safety and comfort for both girls and boys (Ainsworth, 1973; Bowlby, 1969). During times of stress, the mother is the parent who most often attempts to calm and reassure children (Paquette, 2004). Thus, the mother-child relationship serves as a salient foundation from which both men and women develop their secure base and thus their general emotional well-being. This appears to hold true across a wide age range of adults raised in different historical eras. Thus, regardless of both gender and cohort, reports of higher mother-child relationship quality are related to lower levels of daily distress in adulthood.

Mother- and Father-Child Relationship Quality and Exposure to Daily Stressors

Although only the mother-child relationship quality was uniquely associated with overall levels of psychological distress, both mother-child and father-child relationship quality were each significantly associated with daily stressor occurrence. Although daily stressors may be unpredictable, more often they arise out of the routine circumstances of everyday life (Almeida, 2005). Psychosocial characteristics likely play a role in determining what kinds of stressors an individual experiences (Almeida, 2005), such as early parent-child relationship quality. Research has shown that support from parents during childhood has significant and lasting implications for well-being (Antonucci & Akiyama, 1987; Shaw et al., 2004). Interestingly, the majority of daily stressors are interpersonal arguments and tensions, as compared to work/school, home, health-related or network stressors (stressful events happening to a close other of the respondent) (Almeida, 2005), and are highly predictive of psychological distress. Perhaps having attentive and caring parents equip children with the experiences and skills necessary to more successfully navigate their relationships with other people throughout childhood and into adulthood as compared to those without such sensitive parents. In other words, having healthy parent-child relationship may buffer both men and women from exposure to daily stressors that involve interactions with others.

Father-Child Relationship Quality and Emotional Reactivity to Stressors

Having received high quality parenting from both parents in childhood may serve as a buffer from which adult children experience daily stressors, but only reports of father-child relationships were significantly associated with stressor reactivity, and only among men. Men who reported having received higher quality father-child relationships during childhood reported less emotional reactivity to daily stressors as compared to men who reported having poorer father-child relationship quality. This finding held even after controlling for neuroticism, childhood and current SES, age, and survival status of both parents. Thus, for men, although the mother-son relationship is related to overall levels of daily distress, the father-child relationship is more relevant in influencing how they emotionally react to the stressors in their everyday lives.

One possible reason for this finding is that men were socialized by their fathers to be stern and stoic and not express emotion. This stoicism may, in turn, lead them to report less emotional reactivity to these stressors. A problem with this explanation, however, is that this association held across adults of all ages in the study, representing men who were raised during different historical eras in the United States. If this finding was driven by fathers inculcating stoicism among their sons, we might expect this finding to be stronger among the older cohorts, raised at a time in history when stereotypes that men not express their emotions to others were more strongly endorsed (Lamb, 2004).

Another potential explanation for the role of father-son relationship quality buffering the effects of daily stressors on emotional experience is that men may interact with their sons in ways that prepare them for stressful, problem-solving situations. As we discussed previously, fathers may be particularly influential in the development of certain aspects of child behaviour, and in particular, for this son. When fathers are active with their children, they generally spend more time with their sons than their daughters, and engage them in play and competitive activities; mothers, in contrast, spend an equal amount of time with boys and girls (Aldous et al., 1998; Harris & Morgan, 1991). Furthermore, physical active play behaviours, such as rough-housing, talking and recreational activities place more problem-solving related demands on the sons (Lamb, 1997) and teach them to regulate emotions (Paquette, 2004). Play is considered essential for developing children’s problem-solving capacity, social competence, social efficacy and interpersonal cognition in peer interaction (see Liu, 2008). As noted earlier, children of involved fathers are more likely to demonstrate a greater tolerance for stress and frustration and be more resourceful and skillful when presented with a problem (Biller, 1993; Easterbrooks & Goldberg, 1990; Mischel et al., 1988). Perhaps a reason why this same relationship was not found for women is that fathers may be more sensitive to the emotions of their daughters than their sons. This sensitivity may have the unintended effect of not modeling effective emotional regulation in the face of stressful experiences. In contrast, fathers may be more likely to push their sons to participate in challenging, and sometimes perhaps difficult, situations that enhance competence and psychological adjustment (e.g., Amato, 1994; Fagan & Iglesias, 1999; Yongman, Kindlon, & Earls, 1995).

The above findings suggest that future research efforts need to focus understanding on how both fathers and mothers influence long-term well-being for their children. As it relates to fathers, previous studies have been complicated by the fact that there is no singular set of guidelines that define what is good fathering. Furthermore, studies that have examined the role of fathers often note the negative actions on the part of the fathers, and not how their positive actions may be related to long-term outcomes for their children (Marks & Palkovitz, 2004). In addition, greater emphasis can also be made into understanding how fathers, whether unconsciously or not, parent in ways that lead to differential treatment for their sons and daughters.

Limitations and future research directions 

Findings about mother-child and father-child relationship quality during childhood were based upon retrospective reports, with some respondents recalling childhood experiences over 50 years and more. This methodology raises concerns that perceptions may change over time, or that a positive or negative response bias may be driving the findings. Previous studies, however, indicate that one’s viewpoint and beliefs of recalled experiences with parents are strong predictors of psychological well being throughout life (Russek & Schwartz, 1997; Schumaker & Csajkowski, 1994). In addition, longitudinal studies following children into adulthood have found that reports of perceived warmth in adulthood are consistent with what researchers observed when these adults were children (Brewin & Gotlib, 1993; Parker, Turpling, & Brown, 1979). Even if these perceptions are not accurate representations of childhood experiences, however, they suggest that how people remember the parenting they received in childhood from their mother and their father is significantly and differentially related to their emotional experiences in adulthood.

Concerning the possibility of a response bias driving the findings, the differential pattern of findings for mother-child and father-child relationship quality to stressor and emotional outcomes in the current study help to allay these concerns. If happier people, for example, reported all aspects of their lives more positively and reported less emotional reactivity when stressors occur (and vice versa for less happier people), then we would not expect differential patterns based on the gender of the parent or the gender of the respondent. Longitudinal data, observing or querying children and following them until the oldest are 74 years-old, will allow us to either confirm or dispute the inferences from this study. Until these data are available, these findings suggest that both mother- and father-child parental relationship quality are associated with the emotional well-being of their children long after childhood is over.

Another limitation is that our current study only included people who reported on parent-child relationship quality from both mother and father. We limited our study to examine the unique role of the mother and father when both parents were present in the respondent’s childhood, thus this research focus necessarily excluded people who were raised in households where children were not parented from both a mother and a father. Families headed by single parents, or by lesbian and gay parents, for example, may show very different patterns of influences on parent-child relationships (Arnup, 1995; Barrett & Tasker, 2001; Martin, 1998; Morris, Balsam, & Rothblum, 2002). Future studies will need to examine these patterns as well.

In addition, future studies should examine the relationship between mother-child and/or father-child relationships during childhood and adulthood outcomes among different ethnic and socioeconomic groups. For example, findings show that income is positively correlated with father involvement among groups varying by ethnicity and socicoeconomic status (Fagan, 1998; Honig & Mayne, 1982; Parke, 1996). Such findings may shed light on variations of parenting and parenting practices, as well as on perceptions of parental involvement. Moreover, in-depth, qualitative studies would greatly help us understand parental relationship quality and reactivity to stress in ways that large scale, survey type (and especially, retrospective) studies cannot capture.

Finally, the present study did not measure potential mechanisms underlying associations between mother- and father-child relationships quality and both psychological distress and reactivity. Possible mechanisms include biobehavioral and physiological/neuroendocrine pathways linking poor parental quality during childhood and the increased risk for mental health disorders later in life (for a review, see Repetti et al., 2002; Taylor et al., 2004). Also, children develop relationship schemas from their parental attachments which serve as an internalized working model for all future relationship, defined as “templates that serve as guides for interpreting emotions, perceptions, and behaviors in all future relationships (Honig, 2008). The more distal factors of parental relationship quality, then, may have set the stage for current relationships that influence daily emotional experience and reactivity. Again only longitudinal studies can establish the temporal relationships of these mechanisms that potentially link childhood experiences to later emotion-related outcomes.

Conclusion 

Limitations notwithstanding, the current study is the first to examine the relationship between relationships with parents during childhood with psychological distress and stressor reactivity in adulthood. Findings suggest that mother-child relationship quality continues to shape overall levels of emotional experience in daily life. These findings also underscore the importance of fathers in the lives of their sons, and that assessments of emotional experience that move beyond overall levels of emotional well-being may uncover further influences of both mother and fathers on the enduring emotional experiences of their children.

Contributor Information

Melanie H. Mallers, California State University, Fullerton.
Susan T. Charles, University of California, Irvine.
Shevaun D. Neupert, North Carolina State University.
David. M. Almeida, Pennsylvania State University.

Article information

Dev Psychol. Author manuscript; available in PMC 2012 Oct 11.

Published in final edited form as:

Dev Psychol. 2010 Nov; 46(6): 1651–1661.

doi: 10.1037/a0021020

PMCID: PMC3468907

NIHMSID: NIHMS409019

PMID: 20873925

Melanie H. Mallers, Susan T. Charles, Shevaun D. Neupert, and David. M. Almeida

Melanie H. Mallers, California State University, Fullerton;

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Importance of father & mother behind our success in life

August 24, 2016 - by Vijay K Sharma - Leave a Comment

    

4.5

(26)

Father & mother both are the most important person in everyone’s life. They equally play great role in child development. I think father is an inspiration for a kid. While mother is most faithful and reliable. Desires in our life very well supported by mother. While father allow us to do the things those are practical and within our reach. I tried but I can’t compare mother and father. Personally both are as important like body and soul. We are the (advanced invention) combination of mother and father or you can say new version of our parent’s qualities and features or configurations.
We can’t be here without our parents. I can’t able to write this without the blessings of my parents and their sanskar and lessons. I am nothing without them.  Parents are God and we should care them before visiting temple.
It requires to dig deep to understand the importance of parents. It’s impossible to cover the importance or explanation in one or two article or in thousands books. We can’t measure the love parents do to their kids.
Parents and kids are not only important for humans but also for animals, birds and all living things.  But in some case I see humans are doing very wrong things with animals & birds and you know that it hurt too much.

People become vagrant AWARA without the guidance and sanskar of parents. People who ignored the lessons and sanskar of parents will see more failures in life, career or business. There are thousands of examples. You can research that what happening with those people who ignored the mother and father.
Mother and father are our god, teachers and friends. They understand, treat and teach us from their best that help us to live happy and prosperous life in all stages.

Mother and father build our personality

For mother and father their own kids are most beautiful things on the earth. No matter about the color and configuration. Mother decorates and embellished kids from their best possible sources.  She told us to dress properly and look best.
In the same time father help kids to become physically and mentally strong by involving in various home and field works. These are habits and lessons we all are still trying to follow today.
Professionally looking students inspiring in the class and inspire teachers to teach. Good looking job candidates make positive impact on interviewer. Similarly good looking or well dressed and clean dhaba owner attract more customers. Similarly in freelancing sites professionally looking photograph helped freelancer to get a job. I know later we learned more advanced lessons for personality development but those basics lessons of parents’ towards kids personality are more valuable. If we’re successful today due to our personality it is not because we are smart its’ because our parents are smarter than us.

Parents encourage their kids to become respectful

Respect and appreciation of their kids is more important than money for parents. Do the Namaste! Take the blessings of the elders / relatives by touching their feet. Give respect to everyone. You’re not going to become small by respecting others. Do not compare anyone by his job or occupation. Respect your books. Respect money. Respect the freedom of animals and birds. Respect every religion and cast, color. As you know today respected people are more satisfied than people with lots of money.
So, the lesson is earning money without losing respects and principles. If you do the research on yourself or on others then you can see and feel that our parents are more knowledgeable. Respecting students, teachers, clients, customers really make the big positive difference in our success in life.
Etc.
Hoped you learned similar lessons from your parents. These above things I am still trying to involve fully in my life. I am not perfect as you know. But I got success on various businesses & social dealings by following the lessons of parents. It’s great to learn from you. What is your experience? What you think about the importance of mother and father lessons behind your success today?
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Raising Kids and Running a Household: How Working Parents Share the Load

In Close to Half of Two-Parent Families, Both Mom and Dad Work Full Time

Family life is changing, and so, too, is the role mothers and fathers play at work and at home. As more mothers have entered the U.S. workforce in the past several decades, the share of two-parent households in which both parents work full time now stands at 46%, up from 31% in 1970. At the same time, the share with a father who works full time and a mother who doesn’t work outside the home has declined considerably; 26% of two-parent households today fit this description, compared with 46% in 1970, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of Current Population Survey data.
In economic terms, families with two full-time working parents are better off than other families. The median household income for families with two full-time working parents and at least one child under 18 at home is $102,400, compared with $84,000 for households where the father works full time and the mother works part time and $55,000 for households where the father works full time and the mother is not employed. But as a new Pew Research Center survey shows, balancing work and family poses challenges for parents. In fact, more than half (56%) of all working parents say this balancing act is difficult. Among working mothers, in particular, 41% report that being a parent has made it harder for them to advance in their career; about half that share of working fathers (20%) say the same.
The survey, conducted Sept. 15-Oct. 13, 2015, among 1,807 U.S. parents with children younger than 18, also shows that in two-parent families, parenting and household responsibilities are shared more equally when both the mother and the father work full time than when the father is employed full time and the mother is employed part time or not employed.¹ But even in households where both parents work full time, many say a large share of the day-to-day parenting responsibilities falls to mothers.
About half (54%) of parents in households where both the mother and the father work full time say that, in their family, the mother does more when it comes to managing the children’s schedules and activities; 47% also say this is the case when it comes to taking care of the children when they’re sick. But most parents in this type of household say the mother and the father share tasks about equally when it comes to household chores and responsibilities (59%), disciplining (61%) and playing or doing activities with the kids (64%).
In households where the father works full time and the mother works part time or not at all, the distribution of labor when it comes to childcare and housekeeping is less balanced. These moms take on more of the responsibility for parenting tasks and household chores than those who work full time.
It is important to note, however, that there’s a significant gender gap in how mothers and fathers describe their household’s distribution of labor. Mothers in two-parent households, regardless of work status, are more likely to report that they do more on each of the items tested in the survey than fathers are to say their spouse or partner does more. For their part, fathers are generally more likely than mothers to say that these responsibilities are shared about equally. For example, 64% of mothers in two-parent households say that they do more than their spouse or partner when it comes to managing their children’s schedule and activities. And while many fathers (53%) concede that the mom in their household does more of this than they do, dads are much more likely than moms to say this responsibility is shared equally (41% vs. 31% of moms).
While mothers and fathers offer somewhat different views of the division of labor in their household, there is general agreement about who in their family is more job- or career-focused. For example, in two-parent households where the mother and father work full time, 62% say both are equally focused on work, while about one-in-five (22%) say the father is more focused and 15% say the mother is. Differences in the responses to this question between mothers and fathers in this type of household are modest.
In households where the father works full time and the mother works part time, a 63% majority, including 71% of fathers and 57% of mothers, say that, in their family, the father is more focused on his job or career than the mother; about a third (32%) say both are equally focused and 4% say the mother is more focused.
Across all two-parent households where both parents are employed at least part time, 59% say the father earns more than the mother, 17% say the mother earns more, and 23% say they earn about the same. Perhaps not surprisingly, 83% of parents in families where the father is employed full time and the mother is employed part time say the father earns more, while 3% say the mother does and 14% say they earn about the same. Yet, even in families where both parents work full time, half say the father is the top earner, while 22% say the mother is and 26% say they earn about the same amount.

Striking a Work-Family Balance Is Hard, Most Parents Say

For many working parents, balancing their jobs and their family obligations can be a challenge. Among all working parents with children under age 18, more than half (56%) say it is difficult for them to balance the responsibilities of their job with the responsibilities of their family, with 14% saying this is very difficult and 42% say it’s somewhat difficult.
Working mothers (60%) are somewhat more likely than fathers (52%) to say it’s difficult for them to balance work and family, and this is particularly the case for mothers who work full time. In fact, one-in-five full-time working moms say balancing the two is very difficult for them, compared with 12% of dads who work full time and 11% of moms who work part time.²
There is a significant education gap in attitudes about balancing work and family, with college-educated mothers and fathers much more likely than those without a college degree to say it is difficult for them to balance the responsibilities of their job and their family. Among working mothers with a college or post-graduate degree, 70% say it is difficult for them to balance work and family life; 52% of mothers without a college degree say the same. Similarly, among working fathers, 61% of college graduates say this is difficult for them, compared with 47% of non-college graduates. These differences hold even when controlling for the fact that college-educated parents are more likely to work full time.
There is also a racial gap in these attitudes. White parents are more likely than those who are non-white to say it is difficult for them to balance work and family.³ About six-in-ten (57%) white working fathers say this is the case, compared with 44% of non-white fathers. Among working moms, 65% of those who are white say it is difficult for them to balance the responsibilities of their job with the responsibilities of their family; about half (52%) of non-white working mothers say the same.
For working parents, attitudes toward balancing their job and their family life are highly correlated with their experiences as parents. For example, parents who say it is hard for them to strike the right balance between work and family are far less likely than parents who don’t to report that being a parent is enjoyable all of the time (36% vs. 50%). And by a narrower but significant margin, working parents who find it hard to balance work and family are also less inclined than those who don’t to say being a parent is rewarding all of the time (48% vs. 57%).
Overall, relatively few working parents (9%) say parenting is stressful for them all of the time. But a significant share say that parenting is stressful all or most of the time, and that sentiment is much more common among parents who say they have difficulty balancing work and family life (32% compared with 15% of those who say achieving a work-life balance is not difficult for them). In addition, four-in-ten (39%) of those who say it is hard for them to balance their responsibilities at work and at home find being a parent tiring at least most of the time; of those who say it’s not difficult for them to strike a balance, 23% say being a parent is tiring at least most of the time.

Few Say Being a Working Parent Interferes with Career Advancement

While balancing work and family life can be difficult for many working parents, the survey suggests that being a parent doesn’t necessarily interfere with career advancement. When asked if being a parent has made it harder or easier to advance in their job or career or if it has had no impact, a majority (59%) of working parents say it has not made a difference. Three-in-ten say being a parent has made it harder for them to advance at work, and one-in-ten say being a parent has made it easier.
These overall numbers mask the disproportionate impact women say being a working parent has on their careers. Mothers are twice as likely as fathers to say being a working parent has made it harder for them to advance in their job or career. About four-in-ten working mothers (41%) say this, compared with two-in-ten working fathers. And mothers who work part time are just as likely as those who work full time to say being a working mother has made it harder for them to move ahead in their job.
For working mothers who have a spouse or partner who is more focused on his job than they are, being a working parent may have more of an impact on career advancement. About half (48%) of working mothers who say their spouse or partner is more focused on his work also say being a parent has made it harder for them to get ahead at work. By comparison, 30% of mothers who say they and their spouse or partner are equally focused on their careers say being a working parent has made it harder for them to advance in their job.

Four-in-Ten Full-Time Working Moms Always Feel Rushed

Most parents, including at least eight-in-ten mothers (86%) and fathers (81%), say they feel rushed at least sometimes. But for many mothers who work full time, feeling rushed is an almost constant reality. In fact, four-in-ten full-time working moms say they always feel rushed, even to do the things they have to do; an additional 50% say they sometimes feel rushed and just 10% never feel rushed.
In comparison, about three-in-ten mothers who are employed part time or not employed say they always feel rushed (29% in each group). But while 61% of moms who are employed part time say they sometimes feel rushed, fewer of those who are not employed (49%) feel similarly. In turn, mothers who do not work outside the home are about twice as likely as those who do to say they never feel rushed.
Full-time working moms are also more likely than mothers who are employed part time or not employed to say they spend too little time with their children and to say they don’t have enough time away from their children to get together with friends or pursue hobbies or interests. And among those who are married or cohabiting, mothers who work full time are more likely than other moms to say they spend too little time with their partners.
About four-in-ten (39%) mothers who are employed full time say they spend too little time with their kids, while 58% think they spend the right amount of time and just 3% say they spend too much time with their kids. At least seven-in-ten mothers who are employed part time (77%) or not employed (72%) say they spend about the right amount of time with their children, while 18% and 11%, respectively, say they spend too little time. About one-in-six (16%) mothers who do not work outside the home say they spend too much time with their kids; fewer (6%) of those who work part time say the same.
Among those who are married or cohabiting, 44% of mothers who work full time say they spend too little time with their partners, compared with 27% of moms who are employed part time and 34% of moms who are not employed. At least half in each group say they spend the right amount of time with their partners, while few say they spend too much time.
Fathers who work full time are no more likely than those who work part time or are not employed to say they always feel rushed (29% and 27%, respectively).⁴ But fathers who are employed full time are somewhat more likely than other dads—and more likely than full-time working moms—to say they spend too little time with their kids. Half of full-time working dads say this, compared with 41% of dads who are employed part time or not employed and 39% of full-time working moms.
When it comes to leisure time, about half or more of all parents—whether they are employed full time, part time, or not employed—say there’s not enough of it. Full-time working mothers are somewhat more likely than other mothers to say this is the case; about six-in-ten (59%) say they don’t have enough time away from their children to get together with friends or to pursue hobbies and other interests, compared with about half of mothers who are employed part time (48%) or are not employed (47%). Among fathers, the same shares of those who work full time and those who work part time or are not employed say they don’t have enough leisure time away from their children (53% each).

Who Does More?

Most parents who are married or living with a partner with whom they share at least one child say that, in their household, the mother does more than the father when it comes to certain tasks related to their children. In particular, roughly six-in-ten (59%) say the mother plays a larger role in managing their children’s schedules and activities, while just 5% say the father does more and 36% say the parents share this responsibility equally.
Similarly, when it comes to taking care of sick children, 55% of married or cohabiting parents say the mother does more than the father; just 4% say the father does more, and 41% say both parents share this equally.
Mothers also tend to take on more household chores and responsibilities; 41% of married or cohabiting parents say this is the case in their households, compared with just 8% who say the father does more. Half say they and their partner share household chores and responsibilities about equally.
The division of labor between mothers and fathers is more even when it comes to disciplining and playing or doing activities with children. A quarter of married or cohabiting parents say the mother plays more of a disciplinarian role in their families, while 15% say the father does, and 59% say both share this role equally. About as many (27%) say the mother does more when it comes to playing or doing activities with their children; 11% say the father does more, and 61% say both play or do activities with their children about equally.
In households where both parents work full time, mothers and fathers tend to share some responsibilities more equally. For example, about six-in-ten (59%) parents in these households say this is the case when it comes to household chores and responsibilities. Still, about three-in-ten (31%) say the mother takes on more of this, while 9% say the father does. And while 47% of parents in two-parent households where both the mother and the father work full time say they and their partner play about an equal role when it comes to taking care of sick children, the same share says the mother does this more than the father. Just 6% in this type of household say the father does more.
Parents in households where both parents work full time report that mothers are doing more than fathers when it comes to managing their children’s schedules and activities. Some 54% say the mother does more in this area, while 6% say the father does and 39% say parents share this responsibility about equally.
Perhaps not surprisingly, in households where the father is employed full time and the mother is either not employed or is employed part time, childcare responsibilities usually fall to the mother.
For example, about two-thirds of parents in these households say the mother does more when it comes to managing the children’s schedules and activities (69%) and caring for them when they’re sick (67%).

Perceptions of Division of Labor Vary by Gender

Mothers and fathers in two-parent households differ in their perceptions of how they split certain responsibilities. The gap is especially pronounced when it comes to household chores and responsibilities. Half of mothers in two-parent households say they do more than their partners in this area, compared with 32% of fathers who say their wives or partners do more. Fathers, for their part, are more likely to say they and their partners share household chores and responsibilities about equally: More than half (56%) say this is the case, while 46% of mothers agree.
Similarly, while about six-in-ten mothers say they do more than their partners when it comes to managing their children’s schedules and activities (64%) and taking care of their children when they’re sick (62%), fewer fathers agree that, in their households, mothers do more in each of these areas (53% and 47%, respectively). In these areas, too, fathers are more likely than mothers to say they and their partners share responsibilities about equally.
To varying degrees, these gender differences in perceptions of who does more are evident in two-parent households where both parents work full time as well as in households where the father is employed full time and the mother is employed part time or is not employed. Where there are differences, mothers are more likely to say they do more than fathers are to say that their partner does more, while fathers tend to say responsibilities are shared about equally.

Focusing on Career and Raising a Family

In households where both the mother and father are working at least part time, about half (52%) say that both are equally focused on their job or career. Where there is an imbalance, parents are nearly three times as likely to say that the father in the household is more focused on his career than the mother is focused on hers (35% vs. 13%).
Mothers and fathers in these households generally agree about who is more focused on work. For example, 10% of fathers say their spouse or partner is more focused on work and 34% say they are more focused. Among mothers, 15% say they are more focused on work, while 35% say their spouse or partner is.
Among full-time working parents with a spouse or partner who also works full time, most (62%) report that mom and dad are equally focused on their careers. Only 15% of parents in these households say that the mother is more focused on her job, and 22% say the father is more focused on his job.
The situation is much different in households where the father works full time and the mother works part time. A majority of parents (63%) in these households (71% of fathers and 57% of mothers) say the father is more focused on work than the mother is, while 32% say they are equally focused and just 4% say the mother is more focused than the father.
Among fathers in two-parent households, there is a significant racial gap in terms of how focused they say they are on their job compared with their spouse or partner. White fathers (39%) are much more likely than non-white fathers (19%) to say they are more focused on their career than their spouse or partner is. Among non-white fathers, a solid majority (69%) say they and their spouse or partner are equally focused on their jobs, compared with half of white fathers.

Who Earns More in Two-Parent Households?

While half of working parents say they and their spouses or partners are equally focused on their careers, the same is not true when it comes to compensation. Only 26% of parents in households where both parents work full time say they and their spouses or partners earn about the same amount of money. Half say the father makes more, and 22% say the mother makes more.
These findings are comparable to government data that show in 52% of married couples in which the mother and father worked full time, the father earned more in 2014. In 24% of these households the mother earned more, and in the remaining 23% the mother and father earned about the same amount. Fathers earned more in the vast majority of households (86%) where the father worked full time and the mother worked part time.⁵
In the Pew Research survey, among mothers in two-parent households, those who work full time (24%) are more likely than those who work part time (4%) to report that they earn more than their husband or partner. Even so, 44% of full-time working mothers in two-parent households say their spouse or partner earns more than they do; 32% say they earn about the same amount. Among part-time working moms, 78% say their husband or partner earns more than they do.
Similarly, working mothers with a college education are more likely than those who have not finished college to say that they out-earn their spouse or partner (23% vs. 8%). About half (51%) of college-educated working moms say that their spouse or partner earns more than them, and 25% say that they earn about the same amount.

In households where parents report that they are equally focused on their careers, half (50%) say that the father earns more than the mother. Some 18% say that the mother earns more in those households, and 30% say they earn about the same amount. In households where the father is more focused on his career than the mother, 84% say the father earns more, 5% say the mother earns more and 10% say they earn about the same amount. In families where the mom is more focused on her career than the dad is on his, a plurality (46%) say the mother earns more; three-in-ten in these households say the father earns more, and 24% say they earn about the same amount.

About the Survey

The analysis in this report is based on telephone interviews conducted from Sept. 15 to Oct. 13, 2015, among a nationally representative sample of 1,807 parents, 18 years of age or older, with children under 18, living in all 50 U.S. states and the District of Columbia (635 respondents were interviewed on a landline telephone and 1,172 were interviewed on a cell phone, including 697 who had no landline telephone). The survey was conducted by interviewers at Princeton Data Source under the direction of Princeton Survey Research Associates International.
A combination of landline and cell phone random digit dial (RDD) samples was used; both samples were provided by Survey Sampling International. Interviews were conducted in English and Spanish. Respondents in the landline sample were selected by randomly asking for the youngest adult male or female who was home at the time. Interviews in the cell sample were conducted with the person who answered the phone, if that person was an adult 18 years of age or older. To supplement the fresh RDD sample, interviews were also completed among a sample of parents who recently participated in the PSRAI Weekly Omnibus survey and a recent Pew Research Center political survey. Approximately half of respondents were obtained from the RDD sample and half from the callback sample.
For the RDD sample, the combined landline and cell phone sample are weighted using an iterative technique that matches gender, age, education, race, Hispanic origin and nativity, and region to parameters of parents from the 2013 Census Bureau’s American Community Survey and population density to parameters from the 2010 Decennial Census. The sample also is weighted to match current patterns of telephone status (landline only, cell phone only, or both landline and cell phone), based on extrapolations from the 2014 National Health Interview Survey. The weighting procedure also accounts for the fact that respondents with both landline and cell phones have a greater probability of being included in the combined sample and adjusts for household size among respondents with a landline phone.
For the callback sample, the final weight used in the original survey was applied as the first-stage weight. The second stage of weighting balances sample demographics to population parameters of parents as described above. The population density and phone use parameters were derived from an analysis of all Pew political survey data collected in 2015. The margins of error reported and statistical tests of significance are adjusted to account for the survey’s design effect, a measure of how much efficiency is lost from the weighting procedures.
For detailed information about our survey methodology, see https://www.pewresearch.org/methodology/u-s-survey-research/.
The following table shows the unweighted sample sizes and the error attributable to sampling that would be expected at the 95% level of confidence for different groups in the survey:

Sample sizes and sampling errors for other subgroups are available upon request.
In addition to sampling error, one should bear in mind that question wording and practical difficulties in conducting surveys can introduce error or bias into the findings of opinion polls.
Pew Research Center is a nonprofit, tax-exempt 501(c)(3) organization and a subsidiary of The Pew Charitable Trusts, its primary funder.
© Pew Research Center, 2015

Parents of William Shakespeare William Shakespeare William Shakespeare Biography - The Parents of William Shakespeare JOHN SHAKESPEARE ( FATHER ) - THE EARLY YEARSJohn Shakespeare was born in 1531. His father, Richard Shakespeare, was a tenant farmer who worked on various sections of land, one of which was owned by the wealthy Robert Arden of Wilmecote. John worked as a farmer with his father but in 1551 he moved to Stratford to set up business trading in wool, malt and corn. His businesses tied in well with his father with his father producing the goods and John trading in the retail side.

John was skilled in both leatherworking and the curing and processing of fine leather to make ladies gloves and purses for the nobility and traded as a Glover and Whittawer. He bought a house in Henley Street, Stratford , which was conveniently near the market. It was probable that a shop was attached as this, as was the usual practice. He also started in the dubious business of money lending. He obviously started to do very well with all of his various interests as he then purchased another house in Greenhill Street, Stratford in 1552, five years before he married Mary. MARY ARDEN ( MOTHER )- THE EARLY YEARSMary Arden was born in 1540 as a member of the noble Catholic family of the Ardens of Park Hall whose family forebears had been given land by William the Conqueror. The Ardens were one of Warwickshire's most prominent families, tracing its ancestry back beyond the Norman Conquest to the Doomsday Book. Mary was the favourite of eight daughters of the widowed Robert Arden. His second marriage in April 1548 to Agnes Hill, a widow of another prosperous farmer, added four stepchildren to his own family. The family home was called Glebe Farm a two-storey Wilmecote farmstead. Mary was sixteen when her father died and she was named as one of the Executers of her father's will in which he left her some money and some land in Wilmecote. THE COURTSHIP OF MARY ARDEN AND JOHN SHAKESPEARE (the Bard's Parents )The courtship between Mary Arden ( his mother ) and John Shakespeare ( his father ) can be pieced together. John's father, Richard, was a tenant farmer who lived in Snitterfield and worked, and grazed his animals, on various sections of land. Some of this land was known to belong to Mary's father, the wealthy Robert Arden of Wilmecote. John initially started work as a farmer with his father before making the move to Stratford to pursue the retail side of the business. Mary and John, the Bard's parents, would have therefore had various opportunities to meet and start their courtship. Their courtship would not have been without problems as John was only of Yeoman stock and Mary was part of the aristocracy. It is extremely doubtful that Mary's father would have approved of such a liaison. Robert Arden died in 1556 and convention decreed that any marriage in the Arden family could take only place after the mourning period of one year. So it was that Mary Arden, the heiress, and John Shakespeare, the Yeoman, married in 1557 to become the Bard's Mother and Father. THE MARRIAGE OF SHAKESPEARES PARENTSThe marriage between Mary Arden and John Shakespeare in 1557 must certainly raised a few eyebrows! John was of Yeoman stock and Mary was a member of the aristocratic Arden family. The major thing that the Bard's Mother and Father had in common was that both the Shakespeare's and the Ardens were staunch Catholics. This was extremely important as England, at the time, was fiercely Protestant and Catholics were viewed with real suspicion and often sheer hatred. John was clearly a very ambitious man and this is demonstrated not only by his choice of wife but also by his incredible rise in the community as a prominent citizen of Stratford. The reason that his rise to prominence was so amazing was that John Shakespeare ( father of the Bard ) was totally illiterate, he used glovers compasses as his signature. Mary ( mother of the Bard ) was no help to him in this quarter as she was also unable to read or write and used a running horse as her signature. John and Mary married at the ages of 26 and 17 respectively, a year after the death of Robert Arden. So John married a wealthy young lady giving the Shakespeare's a good start to married life and their role as parents. HENLEY STREET, STRATFORD - HOME TO SHAKESPEARE'S PARENTSAfter their marriage, in 1557, Mary moved from the country to live in John's house in Henley Street - this became home to the mother and father of the Bard. The village of Stratford had a population of 1500 people, and only 200 houses at this time. In the same year he purchased the neighbouring house and garden as well. John was a real entrepreneur and had expanded his business into trading in wool and other farm produce and the dubious, but lucrative, business of money lending. The Shakespeare's were clearly an ambitious couple and John had the clear advantage of marrying into the aristocracy which would, no doubt , have impressed the men who ran the Town Council of Stratford. JOHN SHAKESPEARE - ALE-TASTER OF THE BOROUGH OF STRATFORDJohn ( father of the Bard ) was making himself noticed and the same year of his marriage in 1557 was given his first public appointment as ale-taster of the Borough of Stratford. This might sound strange to us but in the Elizabethan era basic hygiene was practically unknown. People washed infrequently, men urinated in the living room and most houses had a refuse heap outside their front doors. The water was dangerous to drink at the best of times, so ale or wine depending on your class, was the safest option. The position of ale-taster was an important one and it was essential that Stratford maintained a long-reaching reputation for its brewing. THE FAMILY MAN & THE CIVIC DIGNITARYJohn and Mary ( mother and father of the Bard ) started their family in 1558 with the birth of their first child, Joan. Their happiness was short-lived as the baby died of the plague shortly after birth. The plague, commonly referred to as the Black Death, was rampant in England. The plague was often transmitted by the fleas that lived on animals. So farmers and the retailers of farm produce, such as animal hides, were in constant danger of contracting the Black Death. The disease could also be air bound and transmitted from an infected person's breath. So the virulent nature of the disease resulted in frequent outbreaks of the terrible disease for the next hundred years. People must have lived in constant fear for the lives of their children and most families had many children due to the high infant mortality rate - a terrible fear for the parents. Meanwhile John's rise in the Civic world continued and he was elected as Chamberlain of the Borough of Stratford in 1661.The Town Council met daily, and had many important tasks. They heard petitions, made sure the streets were kept clear, and insured that weights and measures were accurate. Mary became pregnant again and gave birth in 1562 to a second daughter, Margaret. Once again family life for the new parents was shattered as Margaret only lived for one year. A year later William Shakespeare was born on St Georges Day (the Patron Saint of England) 23rd April 1564. This birthday is not substantiated as there was no Birth Certificate or registration during that period of English history. There is, however, a record of William's baptism in the register of the Holy Trinity Parish Church in Stratford dated 26th April 1564. Given the high mortality rate of infants it was the custom of the Elizabethan parents to have their children baptised three days after their birth and so the birthday of William has been set as April 23rd. In 1665 John became an Alderman of Stratford and with this position came the benefit of free education for his children at the local Grammar School. This was good timing as the family started to expand with the birth of Gilbert in October 1566. John's career was still rising and in 1568 he became the Mayor of Stratford. The joy of the Shakespeare's must have been great when Mary gave birth to another daughter, also called Joan, in 1569 and they became parents once more. In 1570 John became Chief Alderman of Stratford - the pinnacle of his career. Due to his important Civic duties he rightfully sought the title of gentleman and applied for his Coat-of-Arms. The right to a Coat-of-Arms was very prestigious and sought after by many people. The coat-of-arms could be displayed on their door and all their personal items. It was also quite a costly undertaking with an amount of 30 guineas (£30 pounds and 30 shillings) to be paid to the College of Heralds. Mysteriously, the application was unsuccessful. Two more children were born to the parents of the Bard, Anne in 1571 and Richard in 1574. THE FALL OF JOHNBy 1578 things had started to go seriously wrong for Shakespeare's parents. The boys were removed from school in order to help with the finances as John was behind with the taxes. Another tragedy struck the family in 1579 when eight year old Anne died. This must have been a terrible time for Mary and John as parents and despite their mounting financial problems their young daughter Anne was provided with an expensive funeral by the Bard's mother and father. Things went from bad to worse for Will's parents and in the same year as Anne's premature death his father was forced to mortgage his mother's estate, Asbies. Despite the mortgaging of property their money problems continued and in 1580 John was fined £40 for missing a court date. POSSIBLE REASONS FOR THE DEMISE OF HIS FATHERThere is no real evidence of the events which lead to John's downfall and how he descended from being a pillar of the community, and wealthy businessman, to a debtor whose only possession was a house on Henley Street. There are however a few possibilities that could be considered. His father was extremely ambitious and his swift rise to power within the Stratford community could have lead to jealousy. His dubious money lending activities could also have sparked some real bad feeling. And finally religion. His parents were staunch Roman Catholics during the time that most of his peers would have been of the new and equally fanatical Protestant religion. Queen Elizabeth was a Protestant, this religion and the break from Rome and the old Catholic faith was instigated by her parents Queen Anne Boleyn and King Henry VIII. Whilst Elizabeth adopted a liberal attitude towards religion she was in constant fear of uprisings and the possibility of Civil War. This real danger came from the supporters of the Roman Catholic faith. Englishmen remembered, with horror, the rule of her Elizabeth's sister forever known as Bloody Mary for her cruel persecution of non Catholics. This legacy of Bloody Mary and the constant threat to England from the Catholic France and Spain gave rise to hostile feelings towards any Catholics. Perhaps this was the reason that the Bard's father's application for the Coat of Arms back in 1570 was refused. Perhaps this was the major reason that led to his downfall. THE FAMILY EXPANDS, BUT BAD FORTUNE CONTINUES FOR THE PARENTSHis wife Mary stood beside John through all of his troubles and in 1580 their last child, Edmund, was born. Life carried on with John and his sons working in the family business and then in 1582 another blow was dealt to the parents when their 18 year old son, William Shakespeare, came home with the news that 26 year old Anne Hathaway was three months pregnant. The scandal to the family and his mother and father caused by the conception of a child, by a much older woman, outside marriage must have caused immense gossip in the community and would have blackened the family name still further. The marriage between Will and Anne Hathaway must have been hastily arranged and a special licence had to be sought and issued by the Bishop of Worcester - a nightmare for his parents. The banns were only read once, instead of the conventional three times and William and Anne were married in November 1582. Due to the necessity of the swift marriage it can be assumed that William and Anne had no option but to move in with the Bard's parents. Six months after the marriage, in May 1583, John and Mary became grandparents to Susanna Shakespeare. William probably helped with his father's businesses during this time and possibly also took work as a teacher and perhaps even worked with a lawyer. William's twins Hamnet and Judith were born two years later in 1585 but despite the arrival of more children, fortune continued to go badly with William. There are indications that William might have offended Sir Richard Lucy by poaching a deer on his grounds. What with this and what with the general misfortunes of the family it was about this time that William left Stratford to seek his fortune in London. His parents struggled on but in 1586 John was finally removed from the Board of Aldermen. In 1592 he was fined for not attending church, was this perhaps the Protestant Church? THE RISE OF JOHN Things could not have been much worse for John and Mary ( mother and father of the Bard ). It was 1592, his parents were in debt and John had been stripped of all Civic duties. But this was all about to completely change. Their errant son William had started to become a success as a poet and was also making his name in Theatres of London. By 1592 William was mixing with the elite. The aristocrats and nobles of the Realm were his friends. In 1594 he would even play before the Queen. And John's fortunes were also rising. On October 20, 1596 by permission of the Garter King of Arms, John Shakespeare, and his children, were granted permission to display a coat-of-arms. His mother and father had achieved a long ambition. The coat-of-arms was gold with a black banner bearing a silver spear. The motto was "Non sans droit" or "not without right". John and his sons were then entitled to put "gentleman" after their name, they were officially part the Gentry. This title was reserved for those who were below knights but who had been granted the right to bear arms. The coat-of-arms could be displayed on their door and all their personal items. It is probable the application was initiated by William who , like his father, was ambitious to rise in the Elizabethan social order. By 1599 his father was reinstated on the Stratford Town Council. His father had regained his social standing, bore a Coat-of-Arms, was a member of the Gentry and he had regained his former wealth. The interpretation of the description of the Coat of Arms granted to Shakspere would have been the choice of the designer chosen by the family. It does not appear with the crest on the Shakespeare monument in Stratford church, nor does it appear anywhere else. The crest design would have not formed part of the Heraldic Documentation. As such an original crest is not in existence there are various interpretations of the Shakespeare Coat of Arms. The image below is an interpretation of the description of the Coat of Arms designed by william-shakespeare.info. John Shakespeare enjoyed his new status until 1601 when John, the father of the great Bard, died at the age of 70. His loyal wife Mary, the mother of the great Bard lived for a further seven years until her death in 1608.

TIMELINE - JOHN AND MARY SHAKESPEARE THE BARD'S PARENTS1531 Probable year of birth of Shakespeare's father, John Shakespeare 1540 Probable year of birth of Shakespeare's mother, Mary Arden 1556 Robert Arden dies (Shakespeare's maternal grandfather.) 1556 Mary Arden ( mother of the Bard ) was named as one of the Executers of her father's will 1557 Marriage of John ( father of the Bard ) at the age of 26 to Mary Arden, aged 17 years 1557 John Shakespeare ( father of the Bard ) was elected as ale-taster of the Borough of Stratford 1561 Richard Shakespeare dies (Shakespeare's paternal grandfather) 1558 Joan, the first child of John and Mary ( mother and father of the Bard ) was born but only survived          for two months 1561 John Shakespeare ( father of the Bard ) was elected as Chamberlain of the Borough of Stratford 1562 Margaret Shakespeare was born - she died one year later 1564 William Shakespeare was born 1565 John Shakespeare ( father of the Bard ) became Alderman 1566 Gilbert Shakespeare was born 1568 John Shakespeare ( father of the Bard ) became Bailiff of Stratford (equivalent to Mayor) 1569 Another daughter, also called Joan was born 1570 John Shakespeare became Chief Alderman 1570 John Shakespeare ( father of the Bard ) was accused in the Exchequer Court of Usury for lending          money at the rate of 20% and 25% Interest 1570 John Shakespeare's application to bear a Coat-of-Arms and for the title of Gentleman fails 1571 Anne Shakespeare was born 1574 Richard Shakespeare was born 1578 John ( father of the Bard ) became behind with his taxes 1579 He was forced to mortgage Mary's estate, Asbies 1579 Anne Shakespeare died 1580 Fined £40 for missing a court date 1580 Edmund Shakespeare was born 1582 William marries Anne Hathaway and six months later John and Mary, his parents, become          grandparents to Susanna Shakespeare 1585 William's twins, Hamnet and Judith Shakespeare, were born 1586 John Shakespeare ( father of the Bard ) was removed from the Board of Aldermen 1590 John Shakespeare's ( father of the Bard ) only possession was a house on Henley Street 1592 John Shakespeare's ( father of the Bard ) fined for not attending church 1596 John's ( father of the Bard ) brother Henry died 1596 On October 20 an application was made to the College of Heralds for a Coat-of-Arms and this time          it was granted 1599 John Shakespeare ( father of the Bard ) was reinstated on the Town Council 1601 Shakespeare's father, John Shakespeare dies 1608 Shakespeare's mother Mary Shakespeare nee Arden dies WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S SIBLINGSFull details relating to the lives of brothers and sisters of William Shakespeare and can be found in the next section of william-shakespeare.info

William Shakespeare Full and Short Biography

Biography of William Shakespeare - Lives of brothers and sisters - Joan, Margaret, Gilbert, Anne, Richard and Edmund

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Privacy Statement 10 Autobiography: Written by most famous personalities March 18, 2019 Share! 21SHARES Anjani Haripriya Vishnubhatla Since childhood, we all grew up listening to stories narrated by our elders. The characters from these stories make us who we are today. There are various Autobiography written by famous personalities that can teach you a lot. So, here is a list of 10 beautiful autobiographies that every person should read at least once in their life. 1. Long walk to freedom – Nelson Mandela Nelson Mandela, the world famous freedom fighter who spent 27 years in prison to build a liberal, democratic South Africa writes his experiences right from his childhood. He describes not-so-pretty sights of his nation and how he saw the change throughout his life. The book won Alan Paton Award in 1995, and has been published in numerous languages, including an Afrikaans translation by Antjie Krog. 2. The diary of a young girl – Anne Frank Anne Frank was a Jewish girl, who, along with her family and a few friends went into hiding during the World War II. She starts writing her diary during her hiding days and just like any other teenage girl, she pens down her journey while in hiding, her teenage crushes, friendships, and academics. She shares her experiences as an emotional roller coaster ride and how she opinionated other people’s behavior. Her diary ends shortly after her fifteenth birthday. In 2009, the notebooks of the diary were submitted by the Netherlands and included in UNESCO’S Memory of the World register. 3. I know why the caged bird sings – Maya Angelou Maya Angelou’s seventh autobiography which brought her quite a lot of fame explains her struggling seventeen years as a Black American from birth. Horrific incidents in her life that started with her mother’s divorce, how she was raped by her mother’s live-in boyfriend and how she overcame the trauma are narrated It narrates the hardships of every Black American who faced racism at that time. In the course of Caged Bird, Maya transforms from a victim of a racism to a dignified young woman capable of responding to prejudice. 4. Agatha Christie : An Autobiography – Agatha Christie Agatha Christie, known for her mysterious plots and thrillers, writes about the mystery of her own life. She shares the joy of her happy childhood, her bond with her mother, a few incidents that shaped her into who she is, her mother’s death and the truth about her marriages. She narrates about her works and what keeps her going. Most of the details relates to the firm milestones in her career. 5. On writing : A memoir of the Craft – Stephen King Stephen King, well known for his work in horror genre, leaves behind his signature work and pens down some personal life experiences. Unlike his signature writing style, he adopts good humor in his writing and makes all three parts equally enthralling. The name itself sounds so vintage, but in 2008, Entertainment weekly listed On writing 21st on their list of “The New Classics : Books – The 100 best reads from 1983 to 2008” 6. A Moveable feast – Ernest Hemingway With scattered events like a manuscript in itself, this is a story of lost innocence. It tells about the great American author and journalist, his perspectives, love interests and life events. 7. Autobiography of Mark Twain – Mark Twain He takes us through a journey of different roles played by himself in different stages of his life – a family man, a brother, a friend, a son, and an author. We see a colorful presentation of life in this book and every style is included which remains close to the reader’s heart. 8. Mein Kampf – Adolf Hitler Written in German by Hitler, it is one of the most powerful autobiographies globally. The tales of his journey till he becomes a mass murderer are penned down frankly and all the twisted tales in between are shared. Mein Kampf in German means, My struggle. Highly recommended autobiography. 9. Dreams from my father – Barack Obama Barack Obama was one of the most loved presidents of the United States of America. A black American who paved his way to American politics. The journey, his family, his relationships, struggles, the racism that he had to face. And finally, everything that adds value to his life has been discussed in this autobiography. 10. The story of my experiments with truth – M.K. Gandhi This autobiography mostly consists of his experiences as a brown freedom fighter. He who had a big hand in making India a free nation. . He showed moral and spiritual side of an extraordinary leader and why he chose the way of ‘Ahinsa’ . When you read an autobiography, you can blend into the characters and witness the history from first-hand experience. Also, who wouldn’t want to learn from successful people who have been there? Do let me know if I missed any other deserving Autobiography. Mention in the comments or write to our team at support@folkire.com. If you want to publish your very own article visit our page Post. Share! 21SHARES YOU MAY ALSO LIKE 10 Amazing Apps To Help You Crack MBA Exams October 14, 2018 10 Ways To Learn Something New Everyday June 16, 2019 5 Most useful GK apps to ace your General Knowledge section. October 19, 2018

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